I'm powerless

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12-14-2017, 03:48 AM

# 21 (permalink)

hearthealth

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Join Date: Aug 2016

Posts: 1,144

Ugh, it's on to another complaint in part because he doesn't help out and in part I didn't do more. Now i find myself seeking his approval with affection. I hate this cycle.

12-14-2017, 12:34 PM

# 22 (permalink)

AnvilheadII

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Join Date: Feb 2013

Location: W Washington

Posts: 11,589

I hate this cycle.

how could you break it?

12-14-2017, 02:24 PM

# 23 (permalink)

HardLessons

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Join Date: Jun 2017

Location: USA

Posts: 980

FireSprite

I loved reading your post. I feel that I am getting there, but not there yet. Still a work in progress. But I greatly look forward to the day when that dang heavy weight is totally off me. Its been a very heavy load to carry for far too long. Weary from it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FireSprite

My experience was that once I finally let go - I mean, REALLY, fully, emotionally Got There with Letting Go - then my anxiety & fear about the lack of control was actually gone, popped like a balloon & the result was freeing.

It felt REALLY GOOD to not feel responsible for someone else's choices. I felt the literal weight of it shift off of my shoulders - it's Not Mine To Carry, it never was. I could choose to put it down & when I did I had all this space. Space for new thoughts, emotions, plans, ideas, awarenesses, self-love..... what started out as a heavy, negative burden transformed into love & possibilities instead.

12-14-2017, 08:01 PM

# 24 (permalink)

hearthealth

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Join Date: Aug 2016

Posts: 1,144

Nothing much would be different if I was living on my own with the children. The Holiday show was tonight. Husband couldn't be bothered to attend. I had a good time and went out for ice cream after. The children come to me. They see it. I am always the one doing. I'm so tired. Just done.