I think I have earned my certificate finally..
Guest
Posts: n/a
I think I have earned my certificate finally..
My Mother just pisses me off sometimes……..I have a hard time telling her that she is acting like a complete ass……and she needs to stop…….and stop being so selfish…….and to think about other people other than herself……..
She is already starting her normal crap…….with my sister-in-law who just arrived…..from Tennessee….SIL is In a strange place and she needed to go to FIA to fill out papers for Medicaid for my brother…….
I called to see how my brother is doing……..and my mom is complaining already……I am not letting her drive my van……the way she drives…….my mom is already wishing that she would go back home and just leave them alone now……Do you know what this is going to cause...I wanted to tell my mom off…..today…..you know mom give the girl a break……she just got here and she is doing everything she can for the last nine months for your son…..and has stuck by him……through all of this tragedy……my mom should be grateful……my mom should try to work as a team with her…..and try to make her feel more comfortable in her home…..
I don’t have enough guts to tell my mom I don’t want to hear about it and I think she is wrong….and to give her a break for God’s sake she just got there Wednesday night and she didn’t get to her house until Thursday…….late evening……she was at the hospital all day……
I was taught to suppress my feelings……I was taught my opinions don’t matter……what I think don’t matter……it was her way or get out……..
OMG this is part of why I am today………I really don’t think I matter…….because I was taught I didn’t………
In this situation though……It is not my business to interfere…….but I can stop the BS….when she does say something to me……..and that is where I am going to start…….
I do a lot of venting…….thanks for listening…….
(Inside a warped mind) I am letting everyone here in…………..how scary…..but how helpful….Well am I certifiably nuts yet……..
She is already starting her normal crap…….with my sister-in-law who just arrived…..from Tennessee….SIL is In a strange place and she needed to go to FIA to fill out papers for Medicaid for my brother…….
I called to see how my brother is doing……..and my mom is complaining already……I am not letting her drive my van……the way she drives…….my mom is already wishing that she would go back home and just leave them alone now……Do you know what this is going to cause...I wanted to tell my mom off…..today…..you know mom give the girl a break……she just got here and she is doing everything she can for the last nine months for your son…..and has stuck by him……through all of this tragedy……my mom should be grateful……my mom should try to work as a team with her…..and try to make her feel more comfortable in her home…..
I don’t have enough guts to tell my mom I don’t want to hear about it and I think she is wrong….and to give her a break for God’s sake she just got there Wednesday night and she didn’t get to her house until Thursday…….late evening……she was at the hospital all day……
I was taught to suppress my feelings……I was taught my opinions don’t matter……what I think don’t matter……it was her way or get out……..
OMG this is part of why I am today………I really don’t think I matter…….because I was taught I didn’t………
In this situation though……It is not my business to interfere…….but I can stop the BS….when she does say something to me……..and that is where I am going to start…….
I do a lot of venting…….thanks for listening…….
(Inside a warped mind) I am letting everyone here in…………..how scary…..but how helpful….Well am I certifiably nuts yet……..
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
gracey - you are so open and honest with sharing what you are feeling. i think i too was taught to suppress my feelings and i can't always share and communicate, even when the ah is sober.
you are a breath of fresh air!
you are a breath of fresh air!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: lake elsinore,ca
Posts: 13
Don't supress your feelings. you have to let them out. The first step is speaking out ,but not telling anyone off. I know that is hard, but no one has a chance to listen if sound is not made. You're SIL is obviously a fantastic person and your mom has to open her eyes to this. I agree she needs to be a team player. Fighting and arguing will not help your brother. Maybe print these out and either have her read them or just leave them lying around. She will read them. I don't really know what you're brother's doc is but you need unity and peace around him. If he has all of you believing in him, it makes it so much easier. I hope your mom sees what you're SIL is doing and cuts her a break. You're mom needs to realize That your Sil isn't on a vacation or hasn't been for nine months. She probably was somewhere in the depths of hell doing her best to pull your brother from there. Thoughts and prayers with all of you.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
When will this world stop exercising hate and blame, when there is love and prosperity in helping someone you love. peace
-----------------------------------------------------------------
When will this world stop exercising hate and blame, when there is love and prosperity in helping someone you love. peace
{tap}{tap}...Is this thing on?
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Getting There
Posts: 276
Gracey,
I totally understand the being afraid to speak up to our parents. And it has taken me until now, at the age of 36 to get over the fear of speaking my mind and potentially pissing my parents off.
There have been a lot of realizations in my life. One of the biggest is that I am not a child and shouldn't act like one around my parents. They are fallable, flawed, humans just like me - whether they will admit it or not. And I don't have to pretend (ohhh the word yet again) that they are. They have many misconnceptions about relationships and parenting, etcetera and they are going to continue to do things the way they choose to do them unless : 1 - they decide to do it differently, or 2 - I stop accepting bad behavior.
In my case, I had to decide to stop accepting bad behavior. And I survived it and am now thriving. There is nothing wrong with telling another person that their behavior is unacceptable. The situation that your family is in is more than stressful - but that doesn't give folks a "get out of jail free" card to allow them unlimited bad behavior.
It is taking me so much time with my counselor and continues to take much of my healing time to get over my family history. But I don't and won't continue the insanity. I continue to grieve that I have no real parents. I have 2 people that had a couple of kids but that don't know how not to be co-dependent. It is sad but it is not a place where I have to continue to stay unless I choose to. That is the bright side.
Just get through today. But know that you are not alone in what you are feeling. The disappointment that your whole family is feeling is something that I cannot begin to imagine. The sadness and sense of loss might make you more sensitive to your Mother and her ways. There will be time to deal with all of these things - just know that you are not alone ( I can't stress this enough).
Peace for today,
Petunia
I totally understand the being afraid to speak up to our parents. And it has taken me until now, at the age of 36 to get over the fear of speaking my mind and potentially pissing my parents off.
There have been a lot of realizations in my life. One of the biggest is that I am not a child and shouldn't act like one around my parents. They are fallable, flawed, humans just like me - whether they will admit it or not. And I don't have to pretend (ohhh the word yet again) that they are. They have many misconnceptions about relationships and parenting, etcetera and they are going to continue to do things the way they choose to do them unless : 1 - they decide to do it differently, or 2 - I stop accepting bad behavior.
In my case, I had to decide to stop accepting bad behavior. And I survived it and am now thriving. There is nothing wrong with telling another person that their behavior is unacceptable. The situation that your family is in is more than stressful - but that doesn't give folks a "get out of jail free" card to allow them unlimited bad behavior.
It is taking me so much time with my counselor and continues to take much of my healing time to get over my family history. But I don't and won't continue the insanity. I continue to grieve that I have no real parents. I have 2 people that had a couple of kids but that don't know how not to be co-dependent. It is sad but it is not a place where I have to continue to stay unless I choose to. That is the bright side.
Just get through today. But know that you are not alone in what you are feeling. The disappointment that your whole family is feeling is something that I cannot begin to imagine. The sadness and sense of loss might make you more sensitive to your Mother and her ways. There will be time to deal with all of these things - just know that you are not alone ( I can't stress this enough).
Peace for today,
Petunia
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
Yeppers Gracey,
You've earned your wings and joined a small elite group of people who are coping and dealing with the A, and the problems involved.
Congrats, you are now certified. I wouldn't worry about it though. It comes with the territory.
This is a tough time for everyone. Bless your sil that she's taken care of him all this time. You're right, she doesn't need to hear a bunch of crap. Actually, no one does. I went through a similar situation and it's bad enough for everyone when mom and dad and wifey are there, but when there is one person who feels the need to be the center of attention, folks tend to get a little testy. Pi**ed.
Your best approach...try and ignore your mother. Tell the same to your sil. When things are more settled, take the opportunity to sit down with Mom and tell her how you feel and don't hold back. She'll probably get all mad at you, and she'll get glad again, but at least, you'll have gotten a burden off your back and will be able to continue with your healing.
Blessings, Kathy
You've earned your wings and joined a small elite group of people who are coping and dealing with the A, and the problems involved.
Congrats, you are now certified. I wouldn't worry about it though. It comes with the territory.
This is a tough time for everyone. Bless your sil that she's taken care of him all this time. You're right, she doesn't need to hear a bunch of crap. Actually, no one does. I went through a similar situation and it's bad enough for everyone when mom and dad and wifey are there, but when there is one person who feels the need to be the center of attention, folks tend to get a little testy. Pi**ed.
Your best approach...try and ignore your mother. Tell the same to your sil. When things are more settled, take the opportunity to sit down with Mom and tell her how you feel and don't hold back. She'll probably get all mad at you, and she'll get glad again, but at least, you'll have gotten a burden off your back and will be able to continue with your healing.
Blessings, Kathy
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
