searching4shay

Yes, and I know myself well enough I know I'm getting close.

You all have given me so much to think about which I appreciate. I've been doing a lot of soul searching.

Depression - Yes, it's not overwhelming yet, but it's there, and I'm fighting it. I'm still beating it at this point, but I know that add much more to my load, and I will not be able to do it without help.

Drugs - Still fairly certain I'm only dealing with alcohol abuse for a number of reasons, but I'm certainly watching for it. With other symptoms I am more worried about beginning stages hepatic encephalopathy, but I can't find enough information on it. He's certainly been drinking enough for a long enough time for this to be a real possibility. I guess I'm trying to prepare myself for what's to come. (A crystal ball would be real handy right now.)

Abuse - This one is throwing me off and really making me think. Where is the line between walking on eggshells and abuse, or is there one? I feel like I can do whatever I want, and I can give as much as I get, if needed. It's about keeping the peace - not for AH, but for me and the kids. So am I really just keeping the peace, or am I fooling myself?

Thanks again for all of the input. Looks like counseling is in my near future. Now to figure out the best way to accomplish it.