spookyboo22

Hi
I have a friend who I think is an A. She told me she'd been seen an email somehow she wasn't supposed to see saying her work was going down hill and she feels not liked or part of the crowd anyway so this has made it worse
Today she was two hours late after drinking all night where I work.
I've never known drinking to affect her work before and I'd like to talk to her about it.
The other part of me knows it's codie behaviour and nothing I say will make a difference until she is ready to change.
I really like her though and she's a nice friend
Help x

Maudcat

Hi, spookyboo.
It doesn’t feel like codie behavior to me.
It reads like she’s a friend and you are concerned.
You can certainly speak with her and express your concerns.
That’s what friends do, right?
But...I wouldnt expect her to agree with you.
Good luck.

DontRemember

As business owner ,who mostly employees people that I consider family(If I don't know you, you just started here type company). To me; That doesn't sound codie whatsoever. I'd tell my employee/friend,whatever.."Your drinking is F'ing up your production!..Get it together or let me know if you need some real help with it." To me; that's being a caring friend/human. Obviously be gentle when/if you bring it up.

Sasha1972

Maybe stick to "I" statements, like "I've noticed that your drinking is really affecting your work". Then leave it. It's up to her to decide if/how she's going to respond to your statement of what you've seen.

Bekindalways

Argh. This is a rough one. My main thought is that as an alcoholic she may be headed towards losing everything including you her friend. Saying something to her may mean you lose the friendship but you are going to already.

Courage and wisdom to you.

AnvilheadII

oh i think she knows she has a drinking problem....
and it's affecting her work.
you wouldn't tell her anything she didn't already know.

never mix work and friends stuff.

velma929

I've ended up in jobs I wasn't good at, and once even saw some correspondence about my performance that led me to believe I would soon be fired. I was, too. Boy, it stinks. Her drinking may be why she's not performing well. Another possibility is that she may have gotten drunk *that night* because she found out her job was on the line. That's poor coping skills, for sure, but it doesn't mean drinking is the problem with her job.

I don't see anything wrong with asking, and brainstorming some ideas to help her better her performance at work. I would draw the line though, if she continually went over the same ground without taking action.

spookyboo22

Thanks for the replies guys
I've elected to say nothing for now , the timing isn't there
It's her life after all
I'll keep an eye on it
Thanks again x

Mango blast

This is what literally kept tripping me up in fully moving forward in my own life... "keeping an eye on it"..... when I've meant that for anything other than the life I'm creating for myself.

Just sayin.

It's a beautiful quality to care. It becomes genuinely POWERFUL when directed solely into our own lives. That doesn't mean selfishness, for then we have so much more to share with others in experiences without judgement.

KTF