Has a year sober and clean? ? ? Fairy tale over?
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 26
Has a year sober and clean? ? ? Fairy tale over?
Hello guys, it has been awhile.
My ADAF had went to detox on November 9th 2016. After being brought by his brother after a bender. He then went to a very structured rehab and sober living home. Then came home and it was awesome for a while, a month (The day of) before he would have received his year sober, I found him urinating on a whole bunch of stuff in the middle of the night (A clear sign he is intoxicated). I was upset, but we reconciled and said he wants to be clean and sober. He has been drunk at least two more times since then, that I know of.
I had also found him going through my friends weekend bag looking for her prescriptions.... Both my mother and friend has told me, if I found him- something he would not have told me, then he is certainty doing more that I don't know of.
He has a odd job where he is not home for more then 4 or 5 days a month, and that is his excuse for not making it to meetings. I cant force him to go, I can give him rides because he doesn't have his licence but I cant make him go.
I guess, for the period- I thought- and think he had been sober and clean, I was in a fairy tale. It was awesome, it was so much fun and exciting, no more babysitting, no more crying, no more "worrying". I understand relapses happen, but I just didnt see them coming. But now I am... I dont know, I dont believe anything, I am so pessimistic. long post, I know. Sorry, was not supposed to be at first.
My ADAF had went to detox on November 9th 2016. After being brought by his brother after a bender. He then went to a very structured rehab and sober living home. Then came home and it was awesome for a while, a month (The day of) before he would have received his year sober, I found him urinating on a whole bunch of stuff in the middle of the night (A clear sign he is intoxicated). I was upset, but we reconciled and said he wants to be clean and sober. He has been drunk at least two more times since then, that I know of.
I had also found him going through my friends weekend bag looking for her prescriptions.... Both my mother and friend has told me, if I found him- something he would not have told me, then he is certainty doing more that I don't know of.
He has a odd job where he is not home for more then 4 or 5 days a month, and that is his excuse for not making it to meetings. I cant force him to go, I can give him rides because he doesn't have his licence but I cant make him go.
I guess, for the period- I thought- and think he had been sober and clean, I was in a fairy tale. It was awesome, it was so much fun and exciting, no more babysitting, no more crying, no more "worrying". I understand relapses happen, but I just didnt see them coming. But now I am... I dont know, I dont believe anything, I am so pessimistic. long post, I know. Sorry, was not supposed to be at first.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: The Beach
Posts: 1,106
Zepplin, I am sorry you are going through this.
Relapse is not a part of recovery, it is part of the addiction.
I know how hard it is to watch someone you love waste their lives getting wasted. I know the anxiety it causes when we are waiting around for the next screw up and wondering how bad it will be. I literally drove myself crazy with worry.
To get myself healthy again I had to focus on me and what I needed in my life. My first step was realizing I was codependent and then taking steps to change my own behavior. Reading the book " Codependent No More", by Melody Beattie really helped, that and reading everything I could here on Sober Recovery Friends and Family. Learning about boundaries was also a pretty huge leap forward for me as well.
I hope you keep coming back, reading and posting.
*hugs*
Relapse is not a part of recovery, it is part of the addiction.
I know how hard it is to watch someone you love waste their lives getting wasted. I know the anxiety it causes when we are waiting around for the next screw up and wondering how bad it will be. I literally drove myself crazy with worry.
To get myself healthy again I had to focus on me and what I needed in my life. My first step was realizing I was codependent and then taking steps to change my own behavior. Reading the book " Codependent No More", by Melody Beattie really helped, that and reading everything I could here on Sober Recovery Friends and Family. Learning about boundaries was also a pretty huge leap forward for me as well.
I hope you keep coming back, reading and posting.
*hugs*
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 249
I am sorry for the hurt, we really understand you. I definitely understand you . It crushed me when my AH relapsed once. It felt like a dagger in my heart when we renewed the vows and he relapsed again.
What would you like to do from here? What have you done to take care of yourself?
What would you like to do from here? What have you done to take care of yourself?
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