Resilience - my own five pillars
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Resilience - my own five pillars
Hi all, I thought I would share something I've been thinking about for the past few days.
I've seen "resilience" defined as the ability to learn and grow despite adverse circumstances - in other words, it's more than just not being crushed by circumstances or just surviving them. I started thinking about what I needed to experience resilience in my life, despite a host of adverse things (the alcoholic ex is just part of it, although he's probably the worst of it right now). Here is what I came up with for me (your mileage may vary):
1. Intellectual challenge. I need to feel that my mind is alive, that I'm putting my intellectual capacities to work. Fortunately my job gives me a lot of this.
2. Creativity. I need to get out of the intellectual, linear, rational brain and make something using the intuitive, creative part of myself. For me, this takes the form of writing poetry and working on odd crafts and things made out of "upcycled" odds and ends.
3.Spirituality. Connection to "something more". For me, this takes the form of involvement with my church and learning more about different strands in the Christian tradition.
4. Physical fitness/activity. Pretty self-explanatory. Biking and ashtanga yoga are what I do now.
5. (most important) Relationships that grow. Being in a partnership as well as friendships and family relationships that are works in progress in a good way - where you're able to keep deepening the relationship, learning more about the other person, having new experiences with them. I don't need a big network of friends, but I need a small assortment of deep connections.
I think that as long as I can work on making sure those things are in my life, I will be able to deal with a lot of the other stuff.
I've seen "resilience" defined as the ability to learn and grow despite adverse circumstances - in other words, it's more than just not being crushed by circumstances or just surviving them. I started thinking about what I needed to experience resilience in my life, despite a host of adverse things (the alcoholic ex is just part of it, although he's probably the worst of it right now). Here is what I came up with for me (your mileage may vary):
1. Intellectual challenge. I need to feel that my mind is alive, that I'm putting my intellectual capacities to work. Fortunately my job gives me a lot of this.
2. Creativity. I need to get out of the intellectual, linear, rational brain and make something using the intuitive, creative part of myself. For me, this takes the form of writing poetry and working on odd crafts and things made out of "upcycled" odds and ends.
3.Spirituality. Connection to "something more". For me, this takes the form of involvement with my church and learning more about different strands in the Christian tradition.
4. Physical fitness/activity. Pretty self-explanatory. Biking and ashtanga yoga are what I do now.
5. (most important) Relationships that grow. Being in a partnership as well as friendships and family relationships that are works in progress in a good way - where you're able to keep deepening the relationship, learning more about the other person, having new experiences with them. I don't need a big network of friends, but I need a small assortment of deep connections.
I think that as long as I can work on making sure those things are in my life, I will be able to deal with a lot of the other stuff.
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