Ex alcoholic boyfriend has a new relationship, here are some thoughts.
 

I don't know what is wrong with ex abf, but he felt the need to send me an email telling me how he's happy I left him because he's now found someone else who truly loves him (... it's been less than a month since our break up).

I know I didn't need to read this, but I did. I did not reply, though.
To be honest: had I received this message a few weeks ago and I'd be totally crashed, blaming myself, telling myself maybe I wasn't good enough, or pretty enough, or whatever. But now I felt really calm....

I tought that this is what addicts do. They find new enablers. They need someone who makes them stay in denial. And often they stick with the person whose boundaries can be trampled all over. I asked for respect, respect he wasn't able to give me, and that's why I left. I feel like I've got more clarity now.

Well, he’s also being a vindictive asshat....if he’s so happy, why is he trying to make you miserable over it?

I’m glad you’re taking this in stride.

Sending you a hug.

Wow Timetoheal. You have so got this!! :scoregood

Just keep doing what folks in recovery do: take care of yourself, change what you can, take that next right step.

And we will try to be right in there with you.

Wow, the fact that he's trying to goad a reaction out of you shows how mature he is. How petty. Don't react and don't respond. If anything, you should feel sorry for his new gf..

Timetoheal.....Agreeing with the others. Sounds like he is trying to save face.
Very immature move, if you ask me.

At your age, you could use an interesting new adventure....an interesting new challenge.....It would help you to leave this whole chapter so long in the dust....

What a jerk. I'm glad that you're able to see this for what it is. Time to have a great life without him!

You were dating my ex?

The guy who made a lunch date with me a few weeks after he dumped me to tell me, *over lunch* how much better sex was with his new gf?

I'm sorry. Not sorry you've moved on, but sorry you had to deal with him.

It is what addicts do! If he were truly in a good place he would not have sent you the email to start with!

Big hugs!

did he end with Neener Neener?

as you know there was no VALID reason for him to send that.

perhaps you could look into blocking ALL contact from him now?

My soon (cant be soon enough for me) ex AH did something fairly similar.

Painful/insulting though it is, it is also excellent reinforcement that you are doing the Right Thing. Good on you for getting away from someone who would treat you like that!

Laughed at neener-neener-neener. Sounds like his level of maturity.

I needed to laugh today. Laughed at neener-neener.

Lets check back with him in say a year.

on the other hand....why ever check on him again??....why go looking for trouble (again).......lol.....
There are so many great guys out there in the world.....

He is an alcoholic, yes, but he was horrible to me, so even if he "recovered" or something, there's no way I would check back at all/give him another chance or anything along those lines. With this email I realized that he still blames the break up on me. By telling me he has found someone who "truly loves him" he seems to be telling me: "we did not work out because yo did not love me enough". That's not true, of course, beause if I left him it wasn't out of that, it was out of his abusive behavior/of alcohol being his priority/of his constant disrespect, and so on...

All I have to say is... The relationship was pretty much about him. Nothing was about me. If I ever have another relationship it will be because he consistently treats me with respect and as an equal. I'm starting to believe I deserve it.
All the while I've been improving myself, busy with work, friends and learning new stuff I always wanted to learn.

Thanks for the awesome support, as always :) :tyou


P.S. I changed my email address.

Thanks, Dandylion!:scoregood