Blogs


Notices

Finding a healthy inner voice

Old 11-05-2017, 09:30 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
Finding a healthy inner voice

Thank you, firebolt for these words....

Originally Posted by firebolt View Post
I think we minimize
ATROCITIES that happen to us for several reasons.

1 - to get through it in the moment, and to live with what happened in the future.
2 - out of deep rooted shame for being in the situation
3 - out of fear of having to change


Many things you have been through are NOT OK. We stifle that voice inside us that says its NOT OK because subconsciously and sometimes consciously (for the people well more self aware than I) we don't think we deserve any better.

You do deserve better. You can start monitoring your inner voices - and weed through the ones that are sick you talking, and healthy you talking. In the beginning, healthy you is the quiet one. Start paying attention, and eventually, the real you will be so loud that you'll have no choice left but to take action to shut her up.

THAT is how we were meant to live. (((HUGS)))
Mango blast is offline  
The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to Mango blast For This Useful Post:
BAW81 (11-06-2017), Bekindalways (11-23-2017), Berrybean (02-13-2018), firebolt (12-08-2017), FireSprite (11-23-2017), Givenup2018 (02-13-2018), glenl (02-13-2018), Healthyandsober (11-05-2017), hopeful4 (11-06-2017), ladyscribbler (12-08-2017), OpheliaKatz (11-05-2017), RomanticTuring (11-05-2017), Soulful (11-23-2017), thousandwords53 (11-05-2017)
Old 11-05-2017, 12:16 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 76
iím thinking about this topic a lot lately. thank you!!
Nola0250 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Nola0250 For This Useful Post:
Bekindalways (11-23-2017), ladyscribbler (12-08-2017), Mango blast (11-05-2017)
Old 11-23-2017, 06:14 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
Bump.
Mango blast is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Mango blast For This Useful Post:
Bekindalways (11-23-2017), ladyscribbler (12-08-2017)
Old 11-23-2017, 07:22 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 5,490
One trick I have for thinking better about myself is to write down everything I did in a day, a done-list if you will. This forces me to look at the constructive things I do in a day.

I suppose if I was more spiritually advanced or from a culture that valued productivity, this wouldn't be a thing. Anyhow it can change how I look at my day.
Bekindalways is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Bekindalways For This Useful Post:
firebolt (12-08-2017), FireSprite (11-23-2017), glenl (12-08-2017), ladyscribbler (12-08-2017), Mango blast (11-23-2017)
Old 12-08-2017, 11:53 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
Instead of busy-ing through the day, I am stepping back, doing less, feeling more... recognizing I'm having a tough time today, giving myself a beautiful balance of laughter, fun, quietness and connecting with healthy people.
Mango blast is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Mango blast For This Useful Post:
glenl (12-08-2017), hopeful4 (02-13-2018), ladyscribbler (12-08-2017)
Old 12-08-2017, 02:57 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
firebolt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
There are podcasts called Codependency No More (if I recall right). They interview some BRILLIANT people (counselors, seasoned Alanon veterans, doctors, psychologists etc) , and wiping out negative self talk is a huge focus in several of them. I really recommend these. Also the book - Conquering Codependency and Shame tackles the subject a lot. Both helped me so much....

I did't even realize the level of negativity I had towards myself, and the insanely high expectations I had of myself until I started reading that book. Like....if anything I thought I was self absorbed and egotistical and selfish. Negative self worth, poor self esteem, and lack of value of myself are never things I thought I had going on - even remotely - until that book and those podcasts.

Once we recognize that voice, it gets easier and easier to argue it, then squash it!
firebolt is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to firebolt For This Useful Post:
glenl (12-08-2017), hopeful4 (02-13-2018), Mango blast (12-08-2017), OpheliaKatz (12-14-2017)
Old 12-08-2017, 03:58 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 207
Thank you Firebolt for recommending the podcasts! I googled and found them. Really interesting topics. Much needed in my recovery from codependency. I have a loong way to go on that road.

Hugs
Sodevastated is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Sodevastated For This Useful Post:
firebolt (12-14-2017), hopeful4 (02-13-2018), Mango blast (12-09-2017)
Old 02-12-2018, 10:29 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
Bump.
Mango blast is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Mango blast For This Useful Post:
trailmix (02-12-2018)
Old 02-13-2018, 04:40 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 229
Originally Posted by Mango blast View Post
Thank you, firebolt for these words....
Thank you for this post. I have spent years rationalizing my RAH's behavior. For years I never knew that alcoholism was my disease too, only recently with attending a few al anon meetings online and reading here did I come to realize that I am sick too.
Sometimes I weep sometimes I am so angry for allowing myself to be treated this way. But I guess we have to move forward and treat ourselves kindly.
Givenup2018 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Givenup2018 For This Useful Post:
firebolt (02-13-2018), Mango blast (02-13-2018)
Old 02-13-2018, 11:19 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Sailorgirl57's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Oregon Coast
Posts: 168
I relate to the idea of two voices in our heads, the sick voice and the healthy voice. My new thing is, I am practicing voicing my healthy voice OUT LOUD. When sick voice is dwelling on XABF, I let healthy voice say OUT LOUD , come on Sweetheart, letís focus on something else. Letís go get a Starbucks and enjoy our freedom and peace! It brings me joy to do this!
Sailorgirl57 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Sailorgirl57 For This Useful Post:
Givenup2018 (02-14-2018), Mango blast (02-13-2018)
Old 02-13-2018, 11:34 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
hopeful4's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,566
Blog Entries: 10
Well, this will sound REALLY dumb. I am interested in listening to podcasts like the one mentioned above on my iphone, but have no idea how to do that. Anyone??
hopeful4 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to hopeful4 For This Useful Post:
firebolt (02-13-2018), Mango blast (02-13-2018)
Old 02-13-2018, 01:32 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
firebolt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Hopeful - you just download a podcast app I like podcast addict (Go figure..*snicker*)..

There are SO MANY brilliant podcasts! Free info to listen the day away to. Books, stories, interviews, and the shining light of the Codependency No More interviews.

When you get to the one that talks about Codependency Schemas....oh boy....the kid in me that wanted to be a psychologist went crazy reading more!
firebolt is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to firebolt For This Useful Post:
Mango blast (02-13-2018)
Old 02-14-2018, 06:48 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Sailorgirl57's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Oregon Coast
Posts: 168
Other good podcasts: wife of an alcoholic. Baggage reclaim. Wellness mama. Dave Ramsey.
Sailorgirl57 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Sailorgirl57 For This Useful Post:
firebolt (02-14-2018), Mango blast (02-14-2018)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:48 AM.