Finally made the decision to break up
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
K,
Protect yourself and get your locks changed. He is a very sick man and don't underestimate what he could do to you.
I Also agree with nyc, regarding aa meetings. His hope is to go to therapy. In my area there are hourly aa meeting in all different towns. Why is he hoping, when he could just go. He's quacking, don't believe him.
Protect yourself and get your locks changed. He is a very sick man and don't underestimate what he could do to you.
I Also agree with nyc, regarding aa meetings. His hope is to go to therapy. In my area there are hourly aa meeting in all different towns. Why is he hoping, when he could just go. He's quacking, don't believe him.
"O you must wear your rue with difference".
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,146
I have also gone though all this and agree with what SparkleKitty says. There is help for him out there if he wants it. You are not that help. I've also spoken to drug and alcohol counselors who said the exact same thing to me when this was happening to me. Stay strong.
Originally Posted by SparkleKitty 
I have gone through exactly this. I had finally reached the point where I knew I had to stand my ground and let go, or that I would be dragged down even further and become someone I didn't want to know.
My XABF said all the same things. But he didn't want to quit drinking, he wanted a place to stay. He would say whatever he had to to achieve that goal. But I needed to see ACTIONS, not WORDS.
There is help for him out there if the consequences of his actions get to be overwhelming for him, but you are not that help. If he gets so depressed that he takes dramatic action, he needs to be in the care of professionals and people who have been where he has been. The idea that you are somehow responsible for what he does with his feelings is an illusion, and a manipulative one at that.
Some time and distance from the continual crisis of living with an active addict will give you some perspective. Be patient, and take care of yourself.
My XABF said all the same things. But he didn't want to quit drinking, he wanted a place to stay. He would say whatever he had to to achieve that goal. But I needed to see ACTIONS, not WORDS.
There is help for him out there if the consequences of his actions get to be overwhelming for him, but you are not that help. If he gets so depressed that he takes dramatic action, he needs to be in the care of professionals and people who have been where he has been. The idea that you are somehow responsible for what he does with his feelings is an illusion, and a manipulative one at that.
Some time and distance from the continual crisis of living with an active addict will give you some perspective. Be patient, and take care of yourself.
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