Thank you so much, you beautiful creatures!
papagalo
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: LOS ANGELES, CA
Posts: 16
Thank you so much, you beautiful creatures!
I've only been posting on this board for 2 days. I have to tell you all that I feel so much love and encouragement here. Technically, we don't know each other. We're strangers made anonymous, more or less, because we're on the internet and can't see each other's faces. Yet I've seen your faces in every post you've written not only to me, but in the posts you've written. No, I haven't read them all, but I've read enough to know that there is love, encouragement, & healing on this board.
When I came here 2 days ago I was feeling panicky, desperate, & hopeless. I do not hide these emotions well, & my AH picks up on my "sad vibe." I was ready to break my favorite boots from Macy's off in my AH's behind because he is so stubborn about certain things. I was going to leave. On Monday I called several shelters & a trusted, confidential freind. I figured out a plan if I need to leave. I was able to speak to my sponsor and make several outreach calls. The Alanon friends & my sponsor, who know my situation in detail, all encouraged me to do something nice for myself, to be gentle with myself, to write, pray, & think. It's so hard to do that when I'm angry or in the depths of desperation. Thank goodness for the phone line and for sponsors. Today I prayed. Oh yeah...HP...how'd I forget about HIM??? I tend to do that.
I just might have to separate from my beautiful husband, who i believe is not well. If it comes to that, though, I now know that I will do it for myself, and not to get a reaction out of him or to force a change.
I was so upset the other day that nothing in the literature was sinking in. Today it is. My feelings are not facts. I will keep praying that I can be where my feet are. And if that's too much, I'll just pray for the WILLINGNESS to have my head be where my feet are. Thank you for your gentle support, and for not scolding, chastising, or judging me or my husband. That may seem silly, but people can be VERY harsh or passive-aggressive. Thank you for your kindness.
When I came here 2 days ago I was feeling panicky, desperate, & hopeless. I do not hide these emotions well, & my AH picks up on my "sad vibe." I was ready to break my favorite boots from Macy's off in my AH's behind because he is so stubborn about certain things. I was going to leave. On Monday I called several shelters & a trusted, confidential freind. I figured out a plan if I need to leave. I was able to speak to my sponsor and make several outreach calls. The Alanon friends & my sponsor, who know my situation in detail, all encouraged me to do something nice for myself, to be gentle with myself, to write, pray, & think. It's so hard to do that when I'm angry or in the depths of desperation. Thank goodness for the phone line and for sponsors. Today I prayed. Oh yeah...HP...how'd I forget about HIM??? I tend to do that.
I just might have to separate from my beautiful husband, who i believe is not well. If it comes to that, though, I now know that I will do it for myself, and not to get a reaction out of him or to force a change.
I was so upset the other day that nothing in the literature was sinking in. Today it is. My feelings are not facts. I will keep praying that I can be where my feet are. And if that's too much, I'll just pray for the WILLINGNESS to have my head be where my feet are. Thank you for your gentle support, and for not scolding, chastising, or judging me or my husband. That may seem silly, but people can be VERY harsh or passive-aggressive. Thank you for your kindness.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Originally Posted by papagalo
I will keep praying that I can be where my feet are. And if that's too much, I'll just pray for the WILLINGNESS to have my head be where my feet are.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Carrollton TX
Posts: 466
Hi papagalo! I'm so glad to hear you are feeling better - I was you about a month ago, and the people on this board helped to restore my faith in humanity! I know what you mean about leaving, but with compassion and peace, and not hostility and anger. It was so nice to learn that I didn't have to decide anything RIGHT NOW, and that I wasn't weak or crazy.
I love this place and the way people understand what we are going through. I love not being judged, or people thinking "poor her", or "why doesn't she just leave the jerk"...no one can understand unless you've lived this life, and it's so nice to know we're not alone...welcome!!! Hugs to you!
I love this place and the way people understand what we are going through. I love not being judged, or people thinking "poor her", or "why doesn't she just leave the jerk"...no one can understand unless you've lived this life, and it's so nice to know we're not alone...welcome!!! Hugs to you!
Dancing To My Own Beat
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I don't know what kind of state I'm in
Posts: 1,326
papgalo,
This family at SR is as real and wonderful as any family I could have dreamed of. They have helped and supported me in learning to love and trust myself. They are the reason I am ok today. They are here for me in my weakest times. It is truly a blessing to find that we are not alone, and that we are not freaks. We are just people learning to find ourself. I am glad that you have joined my family. Hugs, Magic
This family at SR is as real and wonderful as any family I could have dreamed of. They have helped and supported me in learning to love and trust myself. They are the reason I am ok today. They are here for me in my weakest times. It is truly a blessing to find that we are not alone, and that we are not freaks. We are just people learning to find ourself. I am glad that you have joined my family. Hugs, Magic
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