Pleased
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Pleased
I just had a nice realisation of how much further forward I am in letting go of my Codie behaviours.
My AH was diagnosed with diabetes a few days ago. He decided to use classic alkie coping method of ignoring it and carrying on eating and drinking what he was before.
Anyways, my little light bulb moment was when my friend said to me what a nuisance that AH has diabetes as it would mean so much more work for me. What with me having to prepare different food, monitoring his blood sugar, etc. As well as me having to get him to accept that he has diabetes.
I suddenly realised I had had none of these thoughts. At all. It's AH who has the condition. That was as far as I had thought. If he ignores it and gets ill, well that's up to him.
Gosh, the old me would have thought all of the above and been involved in a battle with AH about it.
Just wanted to share how pleased I am with my progress.
My AH was diagnosed with diabetes a few days ago. He decided to use classic alkie coping method of ignoring it and carrying on eating and drinking what he was before.
Anyways, my little light bulb moment was when my friend said to me what a nuisance that AH has diabetes as it would mean so much more work for me. What with me having to prepare different food, monitoring his blood sugar, etc. As well as me having to get him to accept that he has diabetes.
I suddenly realised I had had none of these thoughts. At all. It's AH who has the condition. That was as far as I had thought. If he ignores it and gets ill, well that's up to him.
Gosh, the old me would have thought all of the above and been involved in a battle with AH about it.
Just wanted to share how pleased I am with my progress.
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good for you! you didn't put any more thought or energy into HIS problem than HE did.......which was NOTHING. excellent recognition of where you end and he begins, what is in your hula hoop, and what is not.
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII 
good for you! you didn't put any more thought or energy into HIS problem than HE did.......which was NOTHING. excellent recognition of where you end and he begins, what is in your hula hoop, and what is not.
Exactly right. He paid no attention to his diagnosis so why would I.
(Unless I was still in a Codie thinking pattern. )
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Another incident happened last night which was another good indicator to me.
An ex messaged me out of the blue. via a message board. The old me would have got quite a buzz from that. I would have eagerly replied. Got hooked in like a fish on a line. Listened to his tale of woe! Quack quack.
The me of now saw the message. Was surprised. Then thought he must be bored with his life and be looking for some one to amuse himself with or wants to con something out of me. (He is an addict)
I didn't engage! Delete. Gone.
I felt ten foot tall.
An ex messaged me out of the blue. via a message board. The old me would have got quite a buzz from that. I would have eagerly replied. Got hooked in like a fish on a line. Listened to his tale of woe! Quack quack.
The me of now saw the message. Was surprised. Then thought he must be bored with his life and be looking for some one to amuse himself with or wants to con something out of me. (He is an addict)
I didn't engage! Delete. Gone.
I felt ten foot tall.
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Originally Posted by CentralOhioDad
You are much farther ahead than I am. I would have been sitting down planning out meals, researching the internet, making sure meds are taken, etc.
Good for you!
Good for you!
Love your signature line.
Oh totally. That is exactly what the old me would have done. EXACTLY.
I would also have been apologising to AH because he was having to eat healthy meals rather than what he eats now. I would have listened to his moaning about it.
Thank you for your post and support.
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Peaceful-
It was working in healthcare related to diabetes that helped me to start setting boundaries and seeing in the bigger picture what self-care and self-empowerment really are. If I had not I would have felt personally responsible for the well-being of so many, too many, and frankly I would have burnt out.
Now I know that I have "Nothing to do and nothing to fix," but what the individual is driven to participate in.....and is interested in for his/herself.
My job is to help teach, self-empowerment and to provide education and tools, not to do for them.
I also have learned a lot about relationships......couples in which the balance is out of wack around living with the "disease," or not. It has helped me to shape my own relationships too.
Diabetes work has helped me to heal from my codependency behaviors with a problem drinker. They remind me of each other in many ways. A chronic, potentially relapsing disease in which there are many tools to assist in treatment and there can be remission though not necessarily a "cure."
Good for you! Thanks for sharing. My whole being loves it.
It was working in healthcare related to diabetes that helped me to start setting boundaries and seeing in the bigger picture what self-care and self-empowerment really are. If I had not I would have felt personally responsible for the well-being of so many, too many, and frankly I would have burnt out.
Now I know that I have "Nothing to do and nothing to fix," but what the individual is driven to participate in.....and is interested in for his/herself.
My job is to help teach, self-empowerment and to provide education and tools, not to do for them.
I also have learned a lot about relationships......couples in which the balance is out of wack around living with the "disease," or not. It has helped me to shape my own relationships too.
Diabetes work has helped me to heal from my codependency behaviors with a problem drinker. They remind me of each other in many ways. A chronic, potentially relapsing disease in which there are many tools to assist in treatment and there can be remission though not necessarily a "cure."
Good for you! Thanks for sharing. My whole being loves it.
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Originally Posted by LifeRecovery
Peaceful-
It was working in healthcare related to diabetes that helped me to start setting boundaries and seeing in the bigger picture what self-care and self-empowerment really are. If I had not I would have felt personally responsible for the well-being of so many, too many, and frankly I would have burnt out.
Now I know that I have "Nothing to do and nothing to fix," but what the individual is driven to participate in.....and is interested in for his/herself.
My job is to help teach, self-empowerment and to provide education and tools, not to do for them.
I also have learned a lot about relationships......couples in which the balance is out of wack around living with the "disease," or not. It has helped me to shape my own relationships too.
Diabetes work has helped me to heal from my codependency behaviors with a problem drinker. They remind me of each other in many ways. A chronic, potentially relapsing disease in which there are many tools to assist in treatment and there can be remission though not necessarily a "cure."
Good for you! Thanks for sharing. My whole being loves it.
It was working in healthcare related to diabetes that helped me to start setting boundaries and seeing in the bigger picture what self-care and self-empowerment really are. If I had not I would have felt personally responsible for the well-being of so many, too many, and frankly I would have burnt out.
Now I know that I have "Nothing to do and nothing to fix," but what the individual is driven to participate in.....and is interested in for his/herself.
My job is to help teach, self-empowerment and to provide education and tools, not to do for them.
I also have learned a lot about relationships......couples in which the balance is out of wack around living with the "disease," or not. It has helped me to shape my own relationships too.
Diabetes work has helped me to heal from my codependency behaviors with a problem drinker. They remind me of each other in many ways. A chronic, potentially relapsing disease in which there are many tools to assist in treatment and there can be remission though not necessarily a "cure."
Good for you! Thanks for sharing. My whole being loves it.
Many thanks for your thoughts. Has given me good perspective.
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Originally Posted by maia1234
Yea, pw!!
Wonderful news. Doesn't it feel great to feel in control of an out of control situation. Keep working on yourself, you are worth it.
Wonderful news. Doesn't it feel great to feel in control of an out of control situation. Keep working on yourself, you are worth it.
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Hey all
I wanted to post update regarding AH's diabetes diagnosis. So as I said I did nothing.
Hubby sat with it for a week or so. Then started taking it seriously, visited the Diabetes Nurse Practitioner and is now following the diabetes eating plan as well as taking the relevant medication.
I remain stepped back. Happy smile. I didn't spend my time and energy taking responsibility for his diagnosis.
My enabling of him over the years has been unhealthy for both of us. I am very grateful I have learnt to detach.
I wanted to post update regarding AH's diabetes diagnosis. So as I said I did nothing.
Hubby sat with it for a week or so. Then started taking it seriously, visited the Diabetes Nurse Practitioner and is now following the diabetes eating plan as well as taking the relevant medication.
I remain stepped back. Happy smile. I didn't spend my time and energy taking responsibility for his diagnosis.
My enabling of him over the years has been unhealthy for both of us. I am very grateful I have learnt to detach.
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Originally Posted by PeacefulWater12
Hey all
I wanted to post update regarding AH's diabetes diagnosis. So as I said I did nothing.
Hubby sat with it for a week or so. Then started taking it seriously, visited the Diabetes Nurse Practitioner and is now following the diabetes eating plan as well as taking the relevant medication.
I remain stepped back. Happy smile. I didn't spend my time and energy taking responsibility for his diagnosis.
My enabling of him over the years has been unhealthy for both of us. I am very grateful I have learnt to detach.
I wanted to post update regarding AH's diabetes diagnosis. So as I said I did nothing.
Hubby sat with it for a week or so. Then started taking it seriously, visited the Diabetes Nurse Practitioner and is now following the diabetes eating plan as well as taking the relevant medication.
I remain stepped back. Happy smile. I didn't spend my time and energy taking responsibility for his diagnosis.
My enabling of him over the years has been unhealthy for both of us. I am very grateful I have learnt to detach.
Fear can be a motivator, but it is not always a long-term motivator.....and I really thought that if I was fearful and thought it was bad, he would to.
You sound great!
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