Vivisectus

Hi All

So Wednesday I went to collect Mrs Sectus from rehab. Me and our youngest decorated the living room with balloons and banners, we cooked a nice roast turkey dinner, played some boardgames together. It was nice. Then I immediately came down with a bad sinus infection (gross!) and I spent the next day working and the evening lying in bed shivering with a fever while my head ached from my scalp to my chin, with an extra helping of neuralgia in my teeth and jaw. I felt like someone used my face for a punchbag for about half an hour. What's up with that? Isn't it just little kids who get a fever from a simple sinus infection?

Mrs Sectus has a huge aftercare plan to work through. it includes 3 AA meetings a week minimum, and finding a sponsor. She has to find a hobby or pastime of some kind and spend some time at it at least once a week. We are to have a family night every week, and one night where the two of us go out and do things together. Datenight I guess! On Tuesdays the two of us go to aftercare together, and our youngest will get some counselling on that evening too.

The two of us are sort of feeling our way. I am making absolutely sure I do not try to solve anything for her, or offer unsolicited advice. I try to be available emotionally but I leave her recovery work to her. I am also continuing to build myself up: I try to be mindful, do my meditation, I keep devouring any and all books on the subject that I can find. We are going to be two healthy adults, interdependent rather than codependent, or else this is not going to work.

We have agreed on a relapse plan too. God knows what she is going to make of that if she ever falls off the wagon, but between me and our two adult kids, I am pretty confident we will be able to manage. We will have consistency, patience and single-mindedness on our side. She won't.

It is going to be a lot of work, but I really do not mind that. In a way this has been a wake-up call for me, and not an unpleasant one: things that I used to view as insurmountable weaknesses and set personality flaws in myself have turned out to be addressable. They are not going to go away without persistent work, but that is ok. I can grow, I can evolve, I have the power to do that. It is neither scary nor an admission of weakness: rather, it is empowering to know that I have the ability to work on these things. I do not have to hide from my flaws, or feel ashamed, or feel inferior. I can simply work on them, one little bit at a time, and over time progress will happen - and it is not dependent on anyone but me.

dandylion

Vivisectus.....it sounds good. That is a busy schedule for all of you....and, I think that is a good thing...
I think that, too often, there is little or no preparation for what comes in the early recovery period.....
I wish you all the very best!

A true sinus infection is n o joke...don't play around with it...

kodi

Hi Mr sectus

Sounds like progress - that's great.

I like the incorporation of family but also the focus on individuals.

I don't knw the program or AA or alanon. I went about my own resources after leaving the alcoholic so I am pleased to know what it entails. Making my own notes for myself so to say.

hopeful4

You are sounding strong and focused, good stuff!

NotAPeach

This is such useful information. THANK YOU. My husband has been at his rehab for 24 days and has 36 to go so I have a while yet but it's very cool to have some idea of what the next step might look like.

All the best to you and I hope you feel better.

FeelingGreat

Sounds hopeful Viv. The urge to drink can be terribly strong but if she's really determined she will get through. She certainly sounds like she's trying.