Update
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 63
Update
My divorce was final a couple of days ago. Gold seal on a piece of paper that ends a marriage that had so much potential, but, maybe it never did have any at all.
Sad and...relieved. I suppose.
I don't think he thought I'd do it...take that final step. Last time I filed three years ago, I put a stop to it one week before finalization but we remained separated. This time, finalization took only a few weeks due to having already gone through the initial process.
Anyway, I'm hoping this loss pushes him to complete sobriety, staying in therapy indefinitely, working on himself, being the best dad to his kids that he can be. He has no one to blame anymore. He has only himself to lean on to get better, be healthy, stay healthy.
Just strange to be done. I was on emotional high alert for so long...and now...I'm not.
Anyway...that's my final update. No more craziness to report anymore.
Sad and...relieved. I suppose.
I don't think he thought I'd do it...take that final step. Last time I filed three years ago, I put a stop to it one week before finalization but we remained separated. This time, finalization took only a few weeks due to having already gone through the initial process.
Anyway, I'm hoping this loss pushes him to complete sobriety, staying in therapy indefinitely, working on himself, being the best dad to his kids that he can be. He has no one to blame anymore. He has only himself to lean on to get better, be healthy, stay healthy.
Just strange to be done. I was on emotional high alert for so long...and now...I'm not.
Anyway...that's my final update. No more craziness to report anymore.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,908
Just because the divorce is final doesn't mean there won't still be craziness. Granted, you no longer have a front row seat, but you are still going to need some support. We are still here for you, and always will be. (((HUGS)))
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Tjd,
Just because you are divorced doesn't mean it's over. I was 2 1/2 years post divorce and axh reached out talking about loving me and wanting to remarry. You will be blessed if you never hear from him again.
Keep us in the loop on how you are doing. Try and Celebrate this weekend, but I am sure it is bitter sweet. Hugs!!
Just because you are divorced doesn't mean it's over. I was 2 1/2 years post divorce and axh reached out talking about loving me and wanting to remarry. You will be blessed if you never hear from him again.
Keep us in the loop on how you are doing. Try and Celebrate this weekend, but I am sure it is bitter sweet. Hugs!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 88
Hi suki
They mean the work on yourself still continues as you have the space and time and your ex won't be around to derail things.
When I was with the ax. I was convinced that when he stopped putting the bottle to his lips our lives would fall into place and we would be happy ever after.
Back then I felt strongly I was not part of the problem especially since I was being so good to him and being super responsible and forgiving and I didn't have anyone with addiction in my life with family or friends.
Near the end I started working on me because I couldn't get why I was in such an emotionally terrible place everyday yet couldn't give up the involvement with the alcoholic when the drinking affected bothof us.
We broke up and I still work on myself 3 years later.
There will be weak moments and emotional triggers stemming from the past. Also learning why we choose the alcoholic so we don't do it again and breaking the pattern so to speak.
Knowledge is empowering.
They mean the work on yourself still continues as you have the space and time and your ex won't be around to derail things.
When I was with the ax. I was convinced that when he stopped putting the bottle to his lips our lives would fall into place and we would be happy ever after.
Back then I felt strongly I was not part of the problem especially since I was being so good to him and being super responsible and forgiving and I didn't have anyone with addiction in my life with family or friends.
Near the end I started working on me because I couldn't get why I was in such an emotionally terrible place everyday yet couldn't give up the involvement with the alcoholic when the drinking affected bothof us.
We broke up and I still work on myself 3 years later.
There will be weak moments and emotional triggers stemming from the past. Also learning why we choose the alcoholic so we don't do it again and breaking the pattern so to speak.
Knowledge is empowering.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
