I know what i need and want to do but I cant yet
 

My AH told me on Sunday some pretty horrible things.......I had explained that in the post I wrote.....there are a couple of things that stick out in my mind very strongly......

When Bree turns 12 he is going to get her no matter what......she belongs with his family.
He told me that he had the best feeling in the world when he was with OW and he hasnt had those feeling since then.
He explained how my whole family is F**d up.....one is ********, one has been married three time, one is lying in the hospital half dead.

It is really hard to think quack, quack, quack..........he said to me I said something just as hurtful to him.........I told him i wanted a divorce......(that's it)

Am I looking for someone to agree with me........to say hey your right he is a jerk.......you have no reason to feel guilty if you leave him...

Gracey - you have been working very hard on making yourself healthy. And you have been doing great. You have no reason to feel guilty if you leave him. You deserve to be happy.

(((((((((((((Gracey)))))))))))))))) "hey, your right, he is a jerk - you have NOOOOO reason to feel guilty leaving him". In all sincerity, sometimes when I read your posts - my blood starts to boil! How dare he say that he is getting Bree, no matter what - I don't know about Michigan, but in Texas they are not real wild about giving custody to alcoholics, when there is a sober, loving mother to take custody - he is insane, and I wouldn't even argue it with him one bit - just let him thinks what he wants, but you would have no problem at all getting custody. Just let your lawyer work it out and JOURNAL...DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! I hate when I hear of people saying sh** like that, that's just insane - and it's a blatant threat to try and make you re-think what you are planning on doing. As far as your family goes - again, that's just insane. So what if one is ********, has been married three time, or in the hospital...what the hell does that have to do with you, other than that you have a lot of other issues and concerns and don't have the desire or energy to focus 100% on a grown man who can't function properly because he is an alcoholic. I know he does not drink anymore though, but you talk to a lawyer and explain what your life has been like. Document as much as you can remember. Gosh, I don't mean to sound so angry, but I know what a darling, caring person you are and how much you love your kids...and when I visualize him I just picture this big Troll! I know that I am the last person to give advise and you'd be wise to do the opposite of what I'd say...but, honestly, I'd stop any and ALL conversations with him about custody, your family, his family - I'd document (I know I've said that 100 times now) anything and everything, and go see a lawyer. I'm so sorry sweetie...and feel guilty?? no way - look how awful he has treated your other 2 children...should they have to grow up feeling second best to Bree? (not that it's her fault at all - in fact, it probably makes her or will make her feel guilty in the end). Okay, I'll stop - I love ya sweetie...and I'm just so sorry!

he was sober Peaches for over six months....and when I went to the hospital to see my bother this past weekend, he did drink for the first time on Friday and Saturday.....I am going to call a lawyer and seek some legal advice.....

He said that I am never happy and if he dont kiss my ass then all hell breaks loose.....

Gracey,

You're doing the right thing. Get the advice of someone who knows the law - which is not your H. As Peaches pointed out, everything he hurled at you had nothing to do with you. What you said to him, was about him. And that smacked him right between the eyes!

I can only say from my experience that the As in my life have never given their permission for me to make the changes that I needed to be healthy. I expect you will deal with the same from your H. Bottom line is that he doesn't have to agree with your feelings. They are your's to have and express if you choose to and anything he says about them holds no water. You feel the way you feel, whether he agrees or not. That's called life.

You keep the focus on the healthy aspects of your life, and let the ducks quack their heads off. You're setting good examples for your children which will be a powerful legacy to leave behind. Compare that to a legacy of beer bottles....

Peace,
Petunia