dejavuwife

He has been back home for almost a week now, and my feelings have been so confusing . He Is back right to where it was before he started using. On one hand, that is great, right? I am very happy to have my clean and sober husband back (and I understand that he has too keep working in recovery, but he is).

On the other hand, I find myself emotional. Some of it is because how scary it is that things have changed so drastically from where I was emotionally two weeks ago when he went to the hospital, and I was almost certain our marriage was over, and now it is all better. It is very scary to me how much damage that substance abuse can do to a relationship very quickly.

And so there is sometimes the fear that this "normal relationship" thing will go away again, but I cannot live my life in fear, and he IS doing everything he can right now. The one disconnect we do have is he truly does not understand how awful it was for us when he was high and under the influence, but I don't think he can ever totally appreciate that (the counselor said that he will come to understand it more as time sober increases).

So TODAY all is good, we are communicating well (even on the hard stuff), and we are just going to keep on keeping on...one day at a time.

dandylion

dejavu.....you have been around addictions for several years, now, so, you know that it can all change with one drink or one hit of a drug....You know how fast things can change....
I think it is imperative that you continue to work on yourself...with your own program, counselor...and, continue to read and learn.
I know that you are in the rapture of his current abstainence...but, you must prepare for Anything that unfolds, in the future.....because, it could be dejavu all over again....

Here is the li nk to our excellent articles....please read them.....

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...c-reading.html (Classic Reading)

Mango blast

Thinking of you. How are you doing?

LovePeaceSushi

Dejavu, I understand. When things are bad, I'm wringing my hands and wishing they were good. When they are good, I'm waiting for the shoe to fall. It's no way to live.

You guys sound like you are both trying and making positive progress. With respect to the alcoholic ever understanding our side of it.....I just don't think they ever will. It's kind of hard to understand events and conversations that they can't even remember. Your counselor has it right, though.......time and sobriety will allow your husband to at least understand BETTER the effects that his use took on you and the family.
Take it one day at a time (both of you!) and keep working and praying. I'm happy for you.

NYCDoglvr

I think it's important to focus on your own recovery. It took Alanon to teach me I have a right to the life I want, to my own feelings and never let anyone disrespect me. Alanon gave me a safe place to share my feelings with others who had been through the same experience. A big hug.