Argumentative
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 216
I read somewhere once (probably here) that all the anger and accusations are often things they want to say to themselves, not you, so if you take it that way it sometimes can soften the blow.
I also have seen some drinkers who give drunken sweetness to some, but anger to others...That's where it gets more interesting but I do believe the unfortunate side effect is that the argumentative side comes out for those who love them the most (and whom they may even love the most in an ironic way sometimes) because you're the barrier to the "fun" of the drinking and intoxication. Everyone else is just along for the ride.
With some space from my relationship, when I realized that ate argument and hate spewing was either self-attacks or just the alcohol defending its right to continue, I was able to separate that out and it gave me some clarity.
That said, every time it happened, I was still amazed and often confounded at the storm that my ex could create after consuming enough alcohol, as if the argument/fight was the main event that she absolutely wanted to have, almost like the getting drunk was the undercard, and the big outburst/argument/yelling was the title fight.
I also have seen some drinkers who give drunken sweetness to some, but anger to others...That's where it gets more interesting but I do believe the unfortunate side effect is that the argumentative side comes out for those who love them the most (and whom they may even love the most in an ironic way sometimes) because you're the barrier to the "fun" of the drinking and intoxication. Everyone else is just along for the ride.
With some space from my relationship, when I realized that ate argument and hate spewing was either self-attacks or just the alcohol defending its right to continue, I was able to separate that out and it gave me some clarity.
That said, every time it happened, I was still amazed and often confounded at the storm that my ex could create after consuming enough alcohol, as if the argument/fight was the main event that she absolutely wanted to have, almost like the getting drunk was the undercard, and the big outburst/argument/yelling was the title fight.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 19
That said, every time it happened, I was still amazed and often confounded at the storm that my ex could create after consuming enough alcohol, as if the argument/fight was the main event that she absolutely wanted to have, almost like the getting drunk was the undercard, and the big outburst/argument/yelling was the title fight.[/QUOTE]
I have been to Alanon so I know about detachment and not engaging when he is drunk. He denies there is any anger when he is sober yet comes home late, turns all lights on, tv up loud to wake up me and kids, makes as much noise as possible. Leaving in this moment is exactly what I want to do but then have to put our 2 teens through the bs of getting out of bed,etc. Even asked him politely to turn down the tv which he refused to do. So here I sit at 130am waiting for him to pass out so I can at least let my kids sleep. He wants the argument but I wont give it. Will it even come as a surprise to him when I finally leave this for good? Where did the man I marry go? So much anger and hate-mostly for me and others closest to him. No recovery here...
I have been to Alanon so I know about detachment and not engaging when he is drunk. He denies there is any anger when he is sober yet comes home late, turns all lights on, tv up loud to wake up me and kids, makes as much noise as possible. Leaving in this moment is exactly what I want to do but then have to put our 2 teens through the bs of getting out of bed,etc. Even asked him politely to turn down the tv which he refused to do. So here I sit at 130am waiting for him to pass out so I can at least let my kids sleep. He wants the argument but I wont give it. Will it even come as a surprise to him when I finally leave this for good? Where did the man I marry go? So much anger and hate-mostly for me and others closest to him. No recovery here...
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 55
Originally Posted by Onefortheditch 
No.
Have taken his bank card away.
Have taken his bank card away.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 235
Originally Posted by Smile1478
He denies there is any anger when he is sober yet comes home late, turns all lights on, tv up loud to wake up me and kids, makes as much noise as possible. Leaving in this moment is exactly what I want to do but then have to put our 2 teens through the bs of getting out of bed,etc. Even asked him politely to turn down the tv which he refused to do. So here I sit at 130am waiting for him to pass out so I can at least let my kids sleep. He wants the argument but I wont give it. Will it even come as a surprise to him when I finally leave this for good? Where did the man I marry go? So much anger and hate-mostly for me and others closest to him. No recovery here...
It was like he enjoyed ramping it up and up and up to see how aggravating he could be until someone snapped. Arguing about insignificant rubbish. Deliberately baiting me or the kids. Horror to live with.
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