Timetoheal12

And it felt strangely good... I hope I don't feel sad tomorrow.

I wrote a few days ago about how he cancelled 2 dates with me because he was "too hungover", and about how he asked me for a break after I told him I wasn't OK with him cancelling our plans the last minute.
Well, today, a trusting friend of mine told me she saw him kissing with a girl... So I decided to break up with him and I did it over text, as I am a bit afraid of his replies, and I blocked him everywhere.

I hope he treats the next girl better than he did me... Or at least I hope she's intelligent and gets out soon.

FeelingGreat

Hi TTH, of course you did the right thing, but do prepare yourself for mixed feelings over the next weeks/months. They will pass and you'll realise what an escape you've had.
It's not just the drinking, it's the lies and cheating as well. All the best to you.

dandylion

Timetohealgirl....I think you made a wise decision....
You might have some sad feelings, but, they will pass.....
try to spend as much time as you can with solid healthy friends and acquaintences....that will help, a lot.....

PuzzledHeart

You have a good friend and you did the right thing.

Breaking up sucks, but it sure beats being in a relationship where you're always Plan B.

Here's to making yourself Plan A!

Ariesagain

You are so smart at such a young age...

Don't ever let anyone treat you as one bit less special than you are, not for one moment.

As the song says, go run the world, girl!

Smarie78

I am so sorry for the cheating, it can be very devastating, but sometimes it's a good thing. What I mean is the revelation that he is also cheating gives you a little more of a push that breaking up had to occur. IOW, the more it all adds up the less likely you might be to want to go back.

I agree with the posters above, be prepared for feelings to peak and valley. I am a bit in the same point as my Abf broke up with me a couple of days ago. I think he's actually just drinking and will call me to apologize as he usually does, but oddly enough I have felt fine. No tears or anything. But I expect when it really hits that we are actually over, it will sock me a good couple of times.

Good for you for sticking to your boundaries, looks like he reacted as one in active addiction would. My bf is also not liking my boundaries so has chosen to react by telling me to lose his number. It's a good thing! Hang in there <3

Timetoheal12

Thanks everyone for the support. I guess that he was trying to keep me around just in case things went south with the person he's trying to get to be with him.
It honestly wouldn't surprise me if he gets in a relationship really soon.
I was very mad for his disrespect overall, so that was just the last straw: what pushed me to do what needed to be done.
I already made plans to go see my best friend today and I will be out of my house most of the day, I need to get some fresh air and good vibes.

maia1234

Tth,
Good for you, that you have enough respect for yourself not to be treated like that. You are so much better then a drunk who is cheating on you.

Stay busy and when you are feeling low, post here. We can walk you through the low times, which you will have. Remember, it will not any lower then being with and addict. Spoil yourself. You are worth it. Hugs. !!!

hopeful4

Good for you! Just keep remembering you deserve way more than you were receiving!

Timetoheal12

Thanks everyone. I hoped I would feel OK, but to be honest, it's been hard today. It's not easy to stop blaming myself as he used to blame me for some things and tell me I was "too dramatic" and how that made him "tired with me"., and even when he asked for space he still blamed me... But I went no contact as soon as I broke up with him and I'm hoping that will help a lot... I blocked him everywhere and deleted his number. I did go out today with a friend and I will see another one tomorrow. Today I bought some stuff I needed for me. I was saving money to live together (with him, but now I guess I can spend it in whatever I feel it's right for me

FeelingGreat

Hi TTH, you'll have your good days and not so good days, and it's better to be prepared for that. After all you put a lot of yourself into the relationship.

Cutting off contact will help you move on much faster, may save you from listening to excuses and lies.

AlcoholicLove

Something I've found interesting over the years is that some (not all) alcoholics have narcissistic behaviors. It really made a lot of sense once I started reading about it.

It might help to explain some things to you, can't hurt to do a little research on it.

Timetoheal12

I hope I don't make anyone bored if I keep posting everyday/making updates about how I feel. Last night I really felt like unblocking him just to see what he was up to. I resisted the urge, and started reading a book instead.
Earlier today I went to grab lunch with another one of my best friends: the one who saw exabf kissing with another girl . I told her about my feelings of rejection and she told me that she knows the girl because she once was in a relationship with her (my friend's) older brother. She told me they broke up because she liked to drink and party a lot. My friend also said that perhaps my ex thinks she is more suitable for his lifestyle and that he was taking me for granted so he can marry me (if I wait for him/allow it) after he has his fun elsewhere. He always used to tell me how much he loved I was so loyal, and "good girl" type, "best person" he had ever met, and so on.
Well, I surely won't allow this back into my life. But that doesn't mean I'm not hurt. I hope I can fully love myself again. And mybe someday meet the right person.

So far, I'v only had relationships with men that had issues with alcohol. It's sad to write it, it's sad to see it, but this time around I'm very sick of it. I'm only 23. I don't want to keep wasting my time with this kind of men.

Also, I did read about narcissism. He does seem to fit the description.

dandylion

TimetoHeal.....here is a link to a lot of excellent articles form our forum "library" in the stickies....

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...c-reading.html (Classic Reading)

I hop you can look through them and read the ones t hat appeal to you....