Roller coaster continues, now major health issues..
Soinlove
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Midwest
Posts: 47
Roller coaster continues, now major health issues..
Hello ,
t's been a long time since I've posted & but I'm not going to go into a lot of detail. Too much. Lots of good times for kids, him & I, Lof set backs too. Currently he has a major health issue ( blood clots in lungs ) going on that I was the last to find out about ( we weren't speaking at the time because I'd put my foot down about the drinking- he's living on his own ) . I didn't find out until after he was out of the hospital. But then he told me & we have began talking-- of course I'm concerned about this but also about the whole big picture. I came back in town today to find that my guess was correct, despite this life threatening issue, the major drinking is still happening (guessing a fifth a night ). I don't know if dr seeing him ,knows about this, if anyone at hospital was even told he's an alcoholic ? I know it's not my job "save him " . I guess this will be something to talk to my therapist about.& yes I'm going to al-anon now too, often.
As angry as I was when I saw the empty bottles, I had to step back and remind myself... he has to choose do this, you know this. You can't love him enough to do it for him, you've tried that.
Any other advice?
Positive thoughts & prayers would be welcome too... only 39 years old-- not sure how many years he has at this rate, heartbreaking.
t's been a long time since I've posted & but I'm not going to go into a lot of detail. Too much. Lots of good times for kids, him & I, Lof set backs too. Currently he has a major health issue ( blood clots in lungs ) going on that I was the last to find out about ( we weren't speaking at the time because I'd put my foot down about the drinking- he's living on his own ) . I didn't find out until after he was out of the hospital. But then he told me & we have began talking-- of course I'm concerned about this but also about the whole big picture. I came back in town today to find that my guess was correct, despite this life threatening issue, the major drinking is still happening (guessing a fifth a night ). I don't know if dr seeing him ,knows about this, if anyone at hospital was even told he's an alcoholic ? I know it's not my job "save him " . I guess this will be something to talk to my therapist about.& yes I'm going to al-anon now too, often.
As angry as I was when I saw the empty bottles, I had to step back and remind myself... he has to choose do this, you know this. You can't love him enough to do it for him, you've tried that.
Any other advice?
Positive thoughts & prayers would be welcome too... only 39 years old-- not sure how many years he has at this rate, heartbreaking.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello soinlove,
It is kind of amazing how much an active alcoholic can *not* care that their body is falling apart around them. The denial is that strong...
If he won't give them permission, the medical professionals can't talk to you. The last time my stepson was in the hospital for DTs and heroin use, they could not provide me with any information about his condition or prognosis. So all I asked is that the nurse listen...and I talk to her about the long-term and on-going alcohol and drug use of which we had knowledge. Then I thanked her for her patience and apologized that she had to be in that situation (me calling to find out about him and her not being able to tell me--it's awkward!) and promised to not call again. And I didn't.
I wish I had something better, but there were no amount of words coming from me that changed my stepson or any of the addicts in my family. Please take good care of yourself and your kiddos! You have my prayers.
It is kind of amazing how much an active alcoholic can *not* care that their body is falling apart around them. The denial is that strong...
If he won't give them permission, the medical professionals can't talk to you. The last time my stepson was in the hospital for DTs and heroin use, they could not provide me with any information about his condition or prognosis. So all I asked is that the nurse listen...and I talk to her about the long-term and on-going alcohol and drug use of which we had knowledge. Then I thanked her for her patience and apologized that she had to be in that situation (me calling to find out about him and her not being able to tell me--it's awkward!) and promised to not call again. And I didn't.
I wish I had something better, but there were no amount of words coming from me that changed my stepson or any of the addicts in my family. Please take good care of yourself and your kiddos! You have my prayers.
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