How much do you share?
"O you must wear your rue with difference".
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,146
fml23. I have found that therapy is the only place where I can share. I think that a lot of the time, people are too self-absorbed to know what to say to other people's problems. Or maybe they just can't imagine what you are going through, having not experienced anything nearly as difficult, so they just shut down. Or they try to shame you for trying to share by telling you that it's awkward, simply because they are feeling awkward about not knowing what to say to you. In any case, if you feel that certain people are not going to be the type of people you can share your feelings with, don't share your feelings with them. It is lonely, I know. I often feel lonely because I'm left alone with my own thoughts, but in my experience, sometimes sharing can make you extremely vulnerable. If the person you have shared your sorrows with happens to be some kind of psychopath, they will only pretend to listen and then use everything you shared with them against you... so if they don't seem too interested in your life, don't offer it.
I'm trying to remove myself from an abusive addict, so this is why I'm saying all of this. It's not easy trying to live with another person's addiction. I think the experience is so singularly horrifying that people in healthy relationships don't know the first thing about what it's like, and they say things like, "I don't talk about other people's problems" as if addiction has no collateral damage. It's like trying to explain long division to a 2-year-old. They have no comprehension of what it's like to live with that sort of abuse, uncertainty, stress... basically the stress and abuse of knowing that someone you care about could kill themselves with drugs or drink at any minute (and maybe even on purpose).
I say, f those people who think that you don't need to talk to someone. Yes, you do need to talk about it. Go to counseling. Find a domestic violence group or Alanon. Post things here. Read the forums here.
I think I am going to PM you, actually. The things you have said about your family... they are important. Very important. And there is nothing wrong with you whatsoever. Please be kind to yourself.
I'm trying to remove myself from an abusive addict, so this is why I'm saying all of this. It's not easy trying to live with another person's addiction. I think the experience is so singularly horrifying that people in healthy relationships don't know the first thing about what it's like, and they say things like, "I don't talk about other people's problems" as if addiction has no collateral damage. It's like trying to explain long division to a 2-year-old. They have no comprehension of what it's like to live with that sort of abuse, uncertainty, stress... basically the stress and abuse of knowing that someone you care about could kill themselves with drugs or drink at any minute (and maybe even on purpose).
I say, f those people who think that you don't need to talk to someone. Yes, you do need to talk about it. Go to counseling. Find a domestic violence group or Alanon. Post things here. Read the forums here.
I think I am going to PM you, actually. The things you have said about your family... they are important. Very important. And there is nothing wrong with you whatsoever. Please be kind to yourself.
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