Blogs


Notices

Married 10 years to an AH

Old 09-07-2017, 10:07 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2
Married 10 years to an AH

Hello. I'm new here.
I've been married to an AH for 10 years. We have 2 kids together - 6 year old and 16 months
I never knew how much he drank until we got married. When we were dating he was Mr. Wonderful. Always taking me out, bringing me gifts and he would have a glass of wine with dinner or a couple of beers when we would hang out.
If I could turn back time, and knew how much he drank, I wouldn't have married him.
I don't have love or respect for him anymore. I'm just here because I'm not financially ready to leave.
Whenever I would try to discuss issues we have as a couple, it's always my fault, I make things worse, I'm immature, and there's something wrong with me. He's also addicted to sex and when I would say no, he would make me feel horrible and guilty for refusing. So, I would just lay there and pretend I'm enjoying myself. I hate empty drunk sex.
I'm 36 years old and I feel like I'm wasting away my life. I just try my best to be a good mother to our kids.
Soexhausted2017 is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Soexhausted2017 For This Useful Post:
AnvilheadII (09-07-2017), firebolt (09-07-2017), honeypig (09-07-2017), OpheliaKatz (09-08-2017), rescuer (09-08-2017)
Old 09-07-2017, 10:44 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 284
Welcome. I am also a 36 year old woman and I am currently in the process of divorcing my AH of 5 years (tomorrow) with a 20 month old.

I am so sorry for what you are experiencing. I hope you find comfort knowing you're not alone.

I do recommend that you if you are serious about leaving that you do consult an attorney alone, privately. Also, document everything! Keep a journal, take photos, videos, whatever you might need to help protect your children if(when) he fights for custody .

Staying married to an alcoholic is extremely hard and painful and divorcing an alcoholic can be even worse. Just remember to take care of yourself and those children, first and foremost. I listened to empty promises for a very long time wishing them to be what I wanted them to be. Also, remember, you're ONLY 36!

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you and your children all the best.
BAW81 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to BAW81 For This Useful Post:
AnvilheadII (09-07-2017), firebolt (09-07-2017), honeypig (09-07-2017), OpheliaKatz (09-08-2017)
Old 09-07-2017, 10:45 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
LeeJane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 666
Sorry you are in this situation. What helped me was attending Al-anon. I learnt to detach from my AH and focus on myself and me getting well and having a healthier outlook.

Best wishes to you.
LeeJane is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to LeeJane For This Useful Post:
AnvilheadII (09-07-2017), firebolt (09-07-2017), honeypig (09-07-2017)
Old 09-07-2017, 03:56 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
dandylion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 15,644
soexhausted....are you working at a paying job?
Do you know of how to get financial assistance?

Here is a link that might be of help to you. It is informational, in nature and is arranged by state....

Divorce Advice, Laws, and Information from WomansDivorce.com

Here is an other link to our "library" of wonderful articles about alcoholism and the effect it has on the loved ones. I hope you will look them over and read the ones that appeal to you....

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...c-reading.html
dandylion is online now  
The Following User Says Thank You to dandylion For This Useful Post:
honeypig (09-07-2017)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:27 AM.