honeypig

You can start a new thread or you can continue in this one, up to you.

I like to start a new thread if I'm addressing a different topic.

I also like to start a new thread if the existing one is covering too much time or too many pages. I know that I'm unlikely to wade through 10 pages of a thread, will often just skip over it, and imagine others may do the same.

What Aries said about using your threads as a history is so true. I find an easy way to do that is to click on the "User CP" at the top left of your screen. Scroll down to "Subscribed Threads" on the left side, then click on "Subscriptions." This will show you every thread you've posted to since coming to SR.

From here, you can cancel subscriptions to threads that have become inactive or that you're no longer interested in. You can also group threads into folders using whatever criteria you like. It is indeed very powerful to go back and look over your own posts, and I'm grateful that SR provides this archiving feature!

Berrybean

Either in this one if it's about the same issue. Or you can start new ones. Or join in other threads.

BB

OpheliaKatz

This was my addict's excuse too. It was one of his many excuses: I didn't like him using drugs, so he lied about it and did it sneakily. It is because of ME, you see, that he lied to me, and put his health in jeopardy.

Who drinks first thing in the morning? It's strange, no?

dandylion

Ophilia...."Who drinks first thing in the morning?"
Answer----alcoholics.

Maziemae

To be fair, it's not morning, the times he has done it, it's when he is on nights. So it's around 6pm.

Maziemae

It's when he is on nights, so it's not morning. It's around 6pm.

honeypig

This sounds like an excuse an A would make--"well, it was 6 PM, it's not unusual to have a drink at 6 PM!" No, not for MOST people, who are done with work and relaxing for the evening. However, not the brightest idea in the world for someone who is GOING to work in a short time!

I deliver for a bakery, and my punch-in time varies from midnight on very busy days to 1 AM on more normal days. As such, my whole schedule is oriented differently than most people's--I go to bed between 2 and 3 PM and get up around 11 PM. Now granted, there are definitely still people who are out drinking at 11 PM, or midnight, or even 1 or 2 AM--but that does NOT mean that it would be acceptable for ME to get up and have a beer or two before work "b/c other people are drinking at this time of day"!

Mazie, the logic just doesn't work...as several of us have said, most, if not all, jobs DO NOT allow employees to show up under the influence. In fact, in many jobs, if you hurt yourself or have any kind of accident while on the job, the very first thing that is done is a drug/alcohol test. If you're found to be impaired, things will not go well for you...

Maziemae

I guess because he doesn't Drink allot at a time, and he isn't the typical alcoholic. He blames having a big beer before work on me, because I won't let him drink a beer. Yes, I feel torn still. Maybe I over react. Maybe he never had a problem and it's me, but he keeps quitting to keep the marriage.. But he just does it in secret.
The other part of me isn't torn. We had an agreement last year, drink once in awhile, and once a month h he could drink as much as he wanted. Well on Thanksgiving we had a beer together, I thought all was fine. He went out to the garage, and sucked down since vodka...I was like what the hell.. To me, that shows a problem. I have other examples in another thread.

dandylion

maziemae.....I think that my comment was snarky....and, I am sorry for that....
Sometimes, I don't think before I speak. (even though my grandmother warned me time and time again...."think before you speak".

dandylion

mazie...please keep reading the articles in that link that I gave you to Classic Readings.
There is sooo much to learn, about this thing.

Lots of alcoholics try to "cut down"...in other words, to try and control the drinking. This does not work for an alcoholic. The only thing that works, for very long, is total abstainence.
That is usually the last thing that an alcoholic wants to hear.
Most loved ones, also. This goes against most people's logic. ***sometimes, even medical doctors don't know this!

Keep reading...keep learning....
knowledge is power.

dandylion

Mazie....your husband does fit a profile, I think....just not the profile that you had in your mind......
I don't think you are overreacting...in fact, the fact that you hung in to struggle for 16 yrs. seems like an under reaction, to me...
Lots of people would have said "so long", a long time ago...lol....

About the blame...We have thousands of real life stories on this forum...yes, thousands....and, I would say that blaming the loved one is mentioned in 95 per cent (or more) when there is an active drinker......
You can read the threads and see if I am right.....especially the introductory post...the first one that the member makes....
You will have to stop accepting the blame for his drinking, in your own mind.
The 3 Cs
You didn't Cause it; you can't Control it; and you can't Cure it.........