serenity777

hi all,
what a journey this has been letting go of my alcoholic boyfriend...i look back and see how much ive learned and how much ive grown. I see myself living!!! Set free from the trap i was soooo long entangled in...a good friend of mine said....give it to God, this is too big for you, Remember, this is a special time for you, and Endless Opportunities!!!

here is a poem i first started writing feb. 2004, every month i would go back to it, write more, change it some....lol i wanted to believe what it said...but the old denial monster kept hanging on...still believing i could fix and change him....it was just words, but i wanted to believe...well, time has past since then, and many things have happened and the process of healing continued...and now these words i believe.

I thought you were the man
I'ld dreamed of all my life
I thought you were Listening
To all my pain and strife

I thought you were the Patient One
When I was falling apart
And I thought it was to you
I could give all of my heart

But as I learned what Love is
I began to see
You were not really there for me
And the Truth has set me free

I know you may be thinking
Oh thats just for the birds
But the truth of the matters is
Actions Do speak louder than words

And now that you have moved away
It seems I have much to gain
My heart no longer aches for you
For I have walked through all the pain

Sometimes I'll think of you
That you can be sure of
But I will be ok
And thats what I am sure of!!!

utopia

hehe, i just really relate to what youve said serenity777. i just came out of one of those, oh about am month now and it really hurt me.

it changed my whole view of love and romance to a more realistic and human approach and less obsessive and clingy. its made me more independent and aware too. change is scary sometimes but im glad it all happened. it was like i was living in a fantasy of what love was and then it came crashing to the ground (as it had to eventually) dreams were shattered but new ones can be born from the dust.

well done, sounds like youre moving on well. sending u some light
peace out
toby

serenity777

hi toby,
thanks for the hope...yes, change is scary!!! i lived in a fantasy my whole life in 3 different main relationship. now, im leaving one sober...feeling it all. and feeling all 3 at once......at times its extremely painful and scary. crashing to the ground (from the sky)!!!!!!! this morning is a tuff one for me....ill start a new thread to let it all out thanks again