Kina

Hello,Ive been with my partner for 8yrs and when i met him i knew he drank but didnt know the limits so although he does come from a family of drinkers i always thought he would be able to handle it,he drinks at least 2x a week used to be more nowwe fight because he doesnt want to stop and can drink till 4am or doesnt want to leave the bar till closing or wherever we may be at a friends house on top of that he takes drugs only when he drinks and says its nothing and if we go to the bar on top of drinking and drugs hell be on the machines all night as i look on , the days that he is not drinking he works hard and hes always nice no matter what but i feel stupid now after 8 yrs of doing nothing but worry and wonder what the rest of my life will be, he says he doesnt drink alot and that he wont ever stop , so i feel hopeless, work for me is difficult and every week im wondering what will be his excuse to drink again, his exuses are so smal like his dad needs help with outdoor stuff, or his brother is feeling down, or its a nice day we shuld drink, or his sister is making supper n wants us to come over, to his moms coming to visit.Im mentally at my last straw i feel tired all the time i drink but not a big drinker i just try to drink abit so i dont look like the odd one but im constently telling him i cant do it anymore and then he says ok no more drinking and then another excuse comes up , i know i deserve better n im at the end of helping him trying to be this sober person . I dont know what to do because i just started a new job but all i do is worry bout his problem

Maudcat

Hi, kina.
Welcome to SR.
You sound about at the end of your rope.
Time to make some changes, maybe?
You can't control your partner's drinking, but you can control your response to it.
Keep coming back.

maia1234

Kina,
Welcome. You two are at an impasse. He is telling you that he will not stop drinking. You need to accept what your partner is saying. We love our addicts, but love can not cure alcoholism.

Education is power. Alcoholism is progressive, and it will get worse. Keep reading this forum, hit some meetings. Take some time and evaluate what is important in your life. We are all here for you. Stick around and your life will get better, him not so sure.

dandylion

Kina.....

Here is a link to our "sticky" section, where we have informational articles ...the diagram will show the location...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...find-them.html

***Here is a link to the Classic Reading section of our stickies. Please look through these wonderful articles and read the ones that appeal or.apply to your situation.
they are about alcoholism and the effect on the loved ones....

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...c-reading.html

dandylion

sober recovery

Seren

Hello Kina, and Welcome!

I'm glad you found us

Even in a relationship with a non-alcoholic, I have found that I need to ask myself whether or not the way we interact, how we spend our time, how we share our interests is something I can live with for the rest of my life. There is never any guarantee that the relationship will become what we want.

I must admit, spending my evenings watching someone else drink and gamble is not exactly my idea of fun. How about you? If nothing ever changes, is this how you want to spend the rest of your life?

LeeJane

Welcome, sorry you have all that going on in your life. It sounds very draining.

Ileana

When debating whether to stay or leave ask yourself "does the stress of staying outweigh the stress of leaving'?

hopeful4

Hello, I just wanted to welcome you to SR. This is a place of great support. You are definitely not alone. Keep posting, you will get lots of feedback from people who really do understand.