NYCDoglvr

It's fine to ask if he's been unfaithful but not as part of Step 8. That is strictly between you and your sponsor and it's about YOU, not him.

dawnrun

Hi anvil

I still can't believe I did that..I'm getting the help I need from counselor and this site is so informative.Ya it's rough looking at myself and not blaming rah on all all problems.I guess it's time to put on my big girl pants thanks for the reply.

dawnrun

Hi NYC
It's all a learning curve right now.and yes I'm getting the (its about me)part at last.thanks

atalose

I’m confused, you said you wouldn’t believe his radio? Needed to know he wasn’t still lying to you so you confront the person you assumed he slept with and she said he was a liar……..and you slapped her? You went from asking a liar to asking a possible cheat....did you really expect any kind of truth?

Just because he’s found some sobriety this past month or so doesn’t mean he’s telling you the truth and especially when it comes to cheating and reactions from that. He of course will down play that activity and attempt to drive that conversation away into somewhere else. You of course are solely focused on that one activity which is deplorable and besides the physical abuse in the past, now this, it’s a lot to process and the least resistant would be in just believing him and be done with that. It’s good you are going to see someone professional who can help you stop obsessing over this, help you find clarity through all of what you have experienced with him and get you on a healthy thinking path.

dawnrun

Thanks atalose
Obsessing is the right description for me .I've just come from a brilliant alanon meeting and the focus was on honesty...yes I need all the help I can get for my issues.