Alcoholism and memory?
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Alcoholism and memory?
Seeking the advice of people more knowledgable than me:
What happened: Alcoholic ex and I agreed that he would have a visit with Kid for two hours on (let's say) Monday, from 5.00-7.00, before we left for a short trip to visit friends. This was all done in writing. Kid visited Dad (I dropped her off and picked her up) and all seemed to be okay. When I picked her up from ex, he said "have a great time, I'll see you when you get back from your trip".
On Tuesday when we were traveling, at 5.30 I got an angry text from ex saying "where's Kid, you were supposed to bring her to me at 5.00?". I responded that he had seen Kid the previous day at 5.00 as arranged, referred to the texts we had exchanged about this, and reminded him that he had said "see you when you get back" at pickup time (in other words, he knew we were going out of town). He read my text but did not reply.
I am a bit concerned because it sounds like ex could not remember that he had seen Kid the previous day. He also evidently did not look at his text history which would have shown him that he had seen Kid 24 hours ago and that he knew Kid would be out of town on Tuesday.
My question: could this bit of weirdness be alcohol-related? I know intoxication can affect the formation of memories (e.g. blackouts), but as far as I could tell ex was sober on Monday when he saw Kid. He just didn't remember it on Tuesday (and/or thought Tuesday was Monday). Is it a thing for alcoholics to forget what they did even when they aren't drinking? I haven't found this in the limited searching I've done on alcohol and memory impairment.
It's especially concerning because at a time when ex believed Kid was going to be in his care for a couple of hours (Tuesday evening), he was also unable to remember things that happened 24 hours earlier (on Monday), if that makes sense.
What happened: Alcoholic ex and I agreed that he would have a visit with Kid for two hours on (let's say) Monday, from 5.00-7.00, before we left for a short trip to visit friends. This was all done in writing. Kid visited Dad (I dropped her off and picked her up) and all seemed to be okay. When I picked her up from ex, he said "have a great time, I'll see you when you get back from your trip".
On Tuesday when we were traveling, at 5.30 I got an angry text from ex saying "where's Kid, you were supposed to bring her to me at 5.00?". I responded that he had seen Kid the previous day at 5.00 as arranged, referred to the texts we had exchanged about this, and reminded him that he had said "see you when you get back" at pickup time (in other words, he knew we were going out of town). He read my text but did not reply.
I am a bit concerned because it sounds like ex could not remember that he had seen Kid the previous day. He also evidently did not look at his text history which would have shown him that he had seen Kid 24 hours ago and that he knew Kid would be out of town on Tuesday.
My question: could this bit of weirdness be alcohol-related? I know intoxication can affect the formation of memories (e.g. blackouts), but as far as I could tell ex was sober on Monday when he saw Kid. He just didn't remember it on Tuesday (and/or thought Tuesday was Monday). Is it a thing for alcoholics to forget what they did even when they aren't drinking? I haven't found this in the limited searching I've done on alcohol and memory impairment.
It's especially concerning because at a time when ex believed Kid was going to be in his care for a couple of hours (Tuesday evening), he was also unable to remember things that happened 24 hours earlier (on Monday), if that makes sense.
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I'm an alcoholic in recovery.
It sure sounds like he was drinking. Not much makes sense when too much alcohol is in the system. I wouldn't even call it blackout or memory loss - though it could be. Alcohol and human brains just don't play well together.
It sure sounds like he was drinking. Not much makes sense when too much alcohol is in the system. I wouldn't even call it blackout or memory loss - though it could be. Alcohol and human brains just don't play well together.
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Originally Posted by biminiblue 
I'm an alcoholic in recovery.
It sure sounds like he was drinking. Not much makes sense when too much alcohol is in the system. I wouldn't even call it blackout or memory loss - though it could be. Alcohol and human brains just don't play well together.
It sure sounds like he was drinking. Not much makes sense when too much alcohol is in the system. I wouldn't even call it blackout or memory loss - though it could be. Alcohol and human brains just don't play well together.
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Well, maybe I'm missing the point here - but just because he doesn't remember Monday when he texts you on Tuesday doesn't mean he was drinking Monday when he had her.
If he was drinking on Tuesday, he could have been completely out of it on Tuesday and just didn't have a working memory of the previous day. Don't put too much into it - I guess you could try to get a breathalyzer ordered for before and after visits...
What happens with drinking is that all thoughts are jumbled, not just time-lines. We're pretty famous for our nonsensical texts/emails/phone calls/Facebook posts/conversations, etc. while under the influence.
If he was drinking on Tuesday, he could have been completely out of it on Tuesday and just didn't have a working memory of the previous day. Don't put too much into it - I guess you could try to get a breathalyzer ordered for before and after visits...
What happens with drinking is that all thoughts are jumbled, not just time-lines. We're pretty famous for our nonsensical texts/emails/phone calls/Facebook posts/conversations, etc. while under the influence.
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Thanks biminiblue. That makes sense. Drunk-on-Tuesday-therefore-doesn't-remember-Monday makes more sense than drunk-on-Monday-therefore-unable-to-form-memory.
Hearthealth, I doubt it was a ploy because it's all documented in texts - we had an agreement, it was followed.
Hearthealth, I doubt it was a ploy because it's all documented in texts - we had an agreement, it was followed.
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When my mom first got sick, she had a lot of appointments and she couldn't be left alone. My sister would often forget when she was supposed to help dad, and blame others for everything. I vented to the social work about her innate inability to remember anything.
His question: "Does your sister take drugs?"
His question: "Does your sister take drugs?"
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