Finally went no contact
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 11
Finally went no contact
Hey!
I FINALLY went no contact and it is the best thing I have EVER done for myself.
I started to realize that even though we are 12 hours away from each other that he was still controlling my moods and that I was still always afraid to miss his calls. Sometimes he would be sweet and I would see the man that I fell in love with, and other times the addict in him would come out and it would ruin my day. I think he would purposely call me first thing in the morning because he knew I would end up crying and arguing with him and he loved that he was able to start my day that way. More and more his calls and texts would cause me pain and make me cry and yell at him.
I was talking to my sister after one extra mean and hurtful conversation and she took my phone and turned it off and said for just half a day do not answer him. She then took me out for the day and said this is our day he will not control it. At first I felt as if I was doing something wrong. I started to worry about his feelings because hey how can I just disappear on him like that? But as the day went on, I started to realize how I was able to just laugh and enjoy my day! I think I was in the best mood that I can remember EVER being since all this started years ago. In fact, when we got home, I decided to keep my phone off all night and until the morning. Then in the morning, I decided that I was still going to keep it off and my mood was so different all day! The longer I don't talk to him, the easier it is getting. I am tired of crying and arguing. I am tired of letting him control my happiness. I think my next step is going to change my cell phone number. I might even have to change the family home phone number because he will call it over and over (5-10) times trying to get me to pick up and why should me or my family deal with that?
A month ago I would have never believed that I would walk away and move back home. I would have said there is no way I would ever cut contact with him. I thought I could ever live without him- that he was my soul mate and best friend. I now see that living with him put me into his sick bubble and that I was slowly destroying myself in the process. Before, I would never go out with my sister or friends because he wouldn't want me to. It felt so good to just go out and not feel guilty or that I was going to get yelled at.
I swear going no contact saved my sanity and gave me a whole new perspective on life. Thank you to all of you who recommended going no contact. I am also working with a counselor and psychiatrist and am slowly learning new ways to get through tough situations and how to love myself and put myself first.
Hope everyone has a drama free and nice night!
I FINALLY went no contact and it is the best thing I have EVER done for myself.
I started to realize that even though we are 12 hours away from each other that he was still controlling my moods and that I was still always afraid to miss his calls. Sometimes he would be sweet and I would see the man that I fell in love with, and other times the addict in him would come out and it would ruin my day. I think he would purposely call me first thing in the morning because he knew I would end up crying and arguing with him and he loved that he was able to start my day that way. More and more his calls and texts would cause me pain and make me cry and yell at him.
I was talking to my sister after one extra mean and hurtful conversation and she took my phone and turned it off and said for just half a day do not answer him. She then took me out for the day and said this is our day he will not control it. At first I felt as if I was doing something wrong. I started to worry about his feelings because hey how can I just disappear on him like that? But as the day went on, I started to realize how I was able to just laugh and enjoy my day! I think I was in the best mood that I can remember EVER being since all this started years ago. In fact, when we got home, I decided to keep my phone off all night and until the morning. Then in the morning, I decided that I was still going to keep it off and my mood was so different all day! The longer I don't talk to him, the easier it is getting. I am tired of crying and arguing. I am tired of letting him control my happiness. I think my next step is going to change my cell phone number. I might even have to change the family home phone number because he will call it over and over (5-10) times trying to get me to pick up and why should me or my family deal with that?
A month ago I would have never believed that I would walk away and move back home. I would have said there is no way I would ever cut contact with him. I thought I could ever live without him- that he was my soul mate and best friend. I now see that living with him put me into his sick bubble and that I was slowly destroying myself in the process. Before, I would never go out with my sister or friends because he wouldn't want me to. It felt so good to just go out and not feel guilty or that I was going to get yelled at.
I swear going no contact saved my sanity and gave me a whole new perspective on life. Thank you to all of you who recommended going no contact. I am also working with a counselor and psychiatrist and am slowly learning new ways to get through tough situations and how to love myself and put myself first.
Hope everyone has a drama free and nice night!
Awesome!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Fantastic! Isn't it AMAZING when you have that moment of clarity? It's very much like the one alcoholics get when they are REALLY ready to recover. It's like all of a sudden the fog lifts and you can SEE the path.
Good job--keep it up! Life only gets better from here.
Good job--keep it up! Life only gets better from here.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 72
"I swear going no contact saved my sanity and gave me a whole new perspective on life. Thank you to all of you who recommended going no contact. I am also working with a counselor and psychiatrist and am slowly learning new ways to get through tough situations and how to love myself and put myself first."
Well done one focusing on you. You are 100% worthy all the time! Counselling and blogging help
Stay strong
Well done one focusing on you. You are 100% worthy all the time! Counselling and blogging help
Stay strong
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 137
Hi Madeline, congrats to no contact!
Similar way my no contact happened. We no longer lived in the same country but his drama filled life style continued, drama that he caused himself. He hurt many people while using (including me) and I was watching him sober getting upset with the same people not taking responsibility. To be honest it even seemed he didn't get that he hurt them.
Constant complaining and ups and downs wore me down.
Not having his presence in my life is the best thing that ever happened to me and I keep working on myself.
Similar way my no contact happened. We no longer lived in the same country but his drama filled life style continued, drama that he caused himself. He hurt many people while using (including me) and I was watching him sober getting upset with the same people not taking responsibility. To be honest it even seemed he didn't get that he hurt them.
Constant complaining and ups and downs wore me down.
Not having his presence in my life is the best thing that ever happened to me and I keep working on myself.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
