Worried
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 2
Worried
Stepping way out by posting...
1. He always takes drinking too far. Can't just have fun. He goes way beyond every time we'really out.
2. A night of drinking usually ends with me going to bed alone and leaving him in his chair where he'll soon be snoring for hours, then come to bed hurling beer breath in my direction for the rest of the night.
3. Morning after no real hangover, apologizes for being rude.
4. Has said, "I'm all done drinking", then when drinking "just a coue beers" says he meant he'd do better, not quit.
5. Sometimes stops at the end of our long driveway to drink a beer before coming in the house and then tries to hide it by chewing gum and keeping a safe distance.
6. After he slows down for a while, the bets will get bigger and then increase in number until he's right back to square one.
7. Is very defensive. He'll often bring up something he considers a fault of mine to cause an argument in order to stop the discussion.
Have any of you dealt with these things? If so, did you think your spouse was an alcoholic? What did you do?
1. He always takes drinking too far. Can't just have fun. He goes way beyond every time we'really out.
2. A night of drinking usually ends with me going to bed alone and leaving him in his chair where he'll soon be snoring for hours, then come to bed hurling beer breath in my direction for the rest of the night.
3. Morning after no real hangover, apologizes for being rude.
4. Has said, "I'm all done drinking", then when drinking "just a coue beers" says he meant he'd do better, not quit.
5. Sometimes stops at the end of our long driveway to drink a beer before coming in the house and then tries to hide it by chewing gum and keeping a safe distance.
6. After he slows down for a while, the bets will get bigger and then increase in number until he's right back to square one.
7. Is very defensive. He'll often bring up something he considers a fault of mine to cause an argument in order to stop the discussion.
Have any of you dealt with these things? If so, did you think your spouse was an alcoholic? What did you do?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Hi, Mummy. Welcome to SR.
Sorry for the situation, but glad you are here.
Yah, no expert here, but sounds like there may be an overdrinking problem.
If his drinking worries you, it's a problem.
There is a lot of good info on this site.
They are called stickies and are, I believe, embedded at the top of the main menu.
I don't know your experience with alcohol dependency and addiction.
I would recommend learning as much as you can, through this site and perhaps reading and research on your own
Also suggest Al-Anon meetings?
Al-Anon is a group for people troubled by a loved one's drinking.
There are meetings all over the world and online.
Good luck. I am sure others will be along to welcome you as well.
Sorry for the situation, but glad you are here.
Yah, no expert here, but sounds like there may be an overdrinking problem.
If his drinking worries you, it's a problem.
There is a lot of good info on this site.
They are called stickies and are, I believe, embedded at the top of the main menu.
I don't know your experience with alcohol dependency and addiction.
I would recommend learning as much as you can, through this site and perhaps reading and research on your own
Also suggest Al-Anon meetings?
Al-Anon is a group for people troubled by a loved one's drinking.
There are meetings all over the world and online.
Good luck. I am sure others will be along to welcome you as well.
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,627
Hi Mummy
Welcome to SR.
It certInly seems your husband has got a drink problem.
As Maudcat mentioned, there is a lot of help and information here. Also many people, who have experienced what you're going through.
Take care.
Welcome to SR.
It certInly seems your husband has got a drink problem.
As Maudcat mentioned, there is a lot of help and information here. Also many people, who have experienced what you're going through.
Take care.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Welcome to the club mummy, the club no one wants to belong too!!
You will learn on this forum that "titles" (alcoholic ) really doesn't mean anything. Is he or isn't he? It really doesn't matter. His drinking is causing problems in your life and marriage. I think 100 % of the spouses on this forum would answer yes to some or all of your questions above..
So now what is the next step??? Have your looked into any alanon or open aa meetings. I would seek out an addiction therapist and educate yourself about addiction. Keep reading all over this forum and realize that your husband is no different than any other addict on this forum. They all do typically the same thing. They like to drink, and don't want their loved ones intruding in their space. They will protect it at all costs even giving up their family, job or even home to drink, something we can't even comprehend. (So don't even try)
What the f&f forum teaches, is how to take care of ourselves and kids. It educates us on how this disease is progressive and it will get worse. It's a great resource to ask questions and and get advice from people who have walked in your shoes and survived, and who are actually thriving. There is lots of help for us codies, you just need to work at finding that peace. Hugs, we all get it on this forum!!
You will learn on this forum that "titles" (alcoholic ) really doesn't mean anything. Is he or isn't he? It really doesn't matter. His drinking is causing problems in your life and marriage. I think 100 % of the spouses on this forum would answer yes to some or all of your questions above..
So now what is the next step??? Have your looked into any alanon or open aa meetings. I would seek out an addiction therapist and educate yourself about addiction. Keep reading all over this forum and realize that your husband is no different than any other addict on this forum. They all do typically the same thing. They like to drink, and don't want their loved ones intruding in their space. They will protect it at all costs even giving up their family, job or even home to drink, something we can't even comprehend. (So don't even try)
What the f&f forum teaches, is how to take care of ourselves and kids. It educates us on how this disease is progressive and it will get worse. It's a great resource to ask questions and and get advice from people who have walked in your shoes and survived, and who are actually thriving. There is lots of help for us codies, you just need to work at finding that peace. Hugs, we all get it on this forum!!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Yes, my xhusband did these things. He was/is an alcoholic.
Have you spoke to him about these things in a manner to show you are concerned? Most alcoholics deny, because that is simply what they do.
I would recommend you go to Alanon or Celebrate Recovery so you have some face to face support for you. This forum is a place of great support. Read and take it all in, and keep posting, you are not alone!
Have you spoke to him about these things in a manner to show you are concerned? Most alcoholics deny, because that is simply what they do.
I would recommend you go to Alanon or Celebrate Recovery so you have some face to face support for you. This forum is a place of great support. Read and take it all in, and keep posting, you are not alone!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,118
1. He always takes drinking too far. Can't just have fun. He goes way beyond every time we'really out. Yes.
2. A night of drinking usually ends with me going to bed alone and leaving him in his chair where he'll soon be snoring for hours, then come to bed hurling beer breath in my direction for the rest of the night. Yes
3. Morning after no real hangover, apologizes for being rude. Yes
4. Has said, "I'm all done drinking", then when drinking "just a coue beers" says he meant he'd do better, not quit. Yes
5. Sometimes stops at the end of our long driveway to drink a beer before coming in the house and then tries to hide it by chewing gum and keeping a safe distance.Close enough: goes out for "cigars" and comes back 45 minutes later, drunk
6. After he slows down for a while, the bets will get bigger and then increase in number until he's right back to square one. Yes
7. Is very defensive. He'll often bring up something he considers a fault of mine to cause an argument in order to stop the discussion. Yes, yes yes.
Have any of you dealt with these things? Yes! If so, did you think your spouse was an alcoholic? Oh, yeah. What did you do?
2. A night of drinking usually ends with me going to bed alone and leaving him in his chair where he'll soon be snoring for hours, then come to bed hurling beer breath in my direction for the rest of the night. Yes
3. Morning after no real hangover, apologizes for being rude. Yes
4. Has said, "I'm all done drinking", then when drinking "just a coue beers" says he meant he'd do better, not quit. Yes
5. Sometimes stops at the end of our long driveway to drink a beer before coming in the house and then tries to hide it by chewing gum and keeping a safe distance.Close enough: goes out for "cigars" and comes back 45 minutes later, drunk
6. After he slows down for a while, the bets will get bigger and then increase in number until he's right back to square one. Yes
7. Is very defensive. He'll often bring up something he considers a fault of mine to cause an argument in order to stop the discussion. Yes, yes yes.
Have any of you dealt with these things? Yes! If so, did you think your spouse was an alcoholic? Oh, yeah. What did you do?
Thanks for posting, Mummy! Keep coming back. Try to find some support like Al-Anon.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Welcome to SR
Hate the situation brings you here but glad you are here to find help for yourself.
I have learned that unhealthy people tend to accuse their loved ones of many things to distract from their problems & to help them feel better about themselves.
It's hard to not take it personal or defend yourself. I learned to use the "you may be right" or "that might be true, but that's not the issue we are discussing"
There are so many wonderful resources to help you be happy joyous & free regardless of his actions.
Wishing you the very best.
Hate the situation brings you here but glad you are here to find help for yourself.
I have learned that unhealthy people tend to accuse their loved ones of many things to distract from their problems & to help them feel better about themselves.
It's hard to not take it personal or defend yourself. I learned to use the "you may be right" or "that might be true, but that's not the issue we are discussing"
There are so many wonderful resources to help you be happy joyous & free regardless of his actions.
Wishing you the very best.
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