I to am new to this site and looking for the same answers as you , my xabf and I were together 3-4years and have recently split due to his drinking , he also was very loving all the time which I to find it hard to get my head round that since we split I haven't had no contact with him , he also has moved onto someone new after just 3 weeks devasted tbh , I can't seem to get my head round things either ,I no he was a alcoholic ,I no I had to leave ,it was just to much at the end it just ruined are relationship if that's what I could call it , he lied , got me into debt blamed me for everything that went wrong would be like Jekyll and Hyde . After reading quiet a few posts on here it has helped me out when I have my bad days to remember that this is the right path I have chosen so any support from here is much appreciated for me and I hope it helps you to x