Tryingin2016

I'm not sure if it will happen. I can't get AH to sign papers. He was fine with the divorce & all of the agreements my lawyer had in the documents. He said he didn't want to go to court. He doesn't have a lawyer so my lawyer said if he signed everything she can bring it to court & he didn't have to go.

Even though this is so hard, I just want this marriage to be over.

I also wish I wasn't going to be dependent on his support. I was raising kids so here I am with a low paying job & I can't pay for mortgage nor college tuition for the kids. His drinking is getting worse & he's been blacking out. It will probably be soon that he will lose his job. So even though I will eventually be divorced, if he loses his job I won't be able to pay tuition AND mortgage.

So, now I will be still worrying & having anxiety that he will keep his job & pay me support.

Tryingin2016

I also wanted to add that I've been working hard on improving my life. I've been eating right, working out, being social, etc.

But today the depression has hit me hard. I feel so doomed and worthless. I know this is just temporary. But I hate feeling like this.

MsPINKAcres

Hate so much you are going thru this - it's so hard to go thru a divorce

Good for you in taking steps to keep you healthy mentally emotionally & physically
Give yourself time to grieve - it's a loss and you need time to heal.
Sending you strength courage & wisdom.
Pink hugs. (Hope unity gratitude & serenity)

FeelingGreat

Hi Trying, you're so level headed I'm sure you'll succeed in your goals. I think you're right in predicting you can't rely on him financially forever, and I would work on that premise so if he does crash and burn you'll be ready.

There's a lot of info out there on living frugally and saving. Get yourself an ICE fund, not for ice, but In Case of Emergency. You'll feel so much more secure.

Great that you came online and posted rather than sitting there feeling miserable.

LexieCat

Bingo. Your energy is much better put toward NOT making yourself dependent on his support than worrying about whether he will pay it. I'm not suggesting you don't deserve it, just saying that being fully self-supporting is the real path to freedom. Most people take a financial hit at the time of divorce. It may take a few years to regain the standard of living you'd like to have, but you'll get there if you keep working at it.

Good luck today!

Mango blast

(((((((Hugs)))))))

SmallButMighty

Divorce is hard. Sorry you are going through this. It sounds like you are doing really well all things considered. Hang in there!

*hugs*

BlownOne

Divorce is utter hell. You'll get thru it, tho. One day at a time. Hugs to you.

Tryingin2016

Ok. It's over. He showed up to court. Smell of alcohol on him. I don't think he was drinking but I think it's just his smell now.

I feel so defeated & sad but now I can finally start on the next step.

I'm taking to heart everything everyone is saying. I'm going to work on not relying on his support.

LexieCat

I'm glad he showed up, in whatever condition, so it's over. You might feel a bit weird or at loose ends for a time, but my bet is that now that this chapter is over you will start feeling stronger and free-er soon.

Hugs!