Suedecurtis

My wife has RA , phibromialgia(supposedly) , herniated discs, yadda yadda. She lies to me about drinking vodka to my face when it is ckear to me she is drunk. Um mouthwash at 3 pm? She has every excuse in the book. Mom dies, fruends mom died, I havn't eaten all day, my reaction boils to 100 when she lies. I scream n yell. Tell her I know shes had a few and the lues to my face are killing me(us). Her response is usual...Denial and then .."you knew I drank when we met" ... yeah we all drink and have fun. But she drinks and gets depressed sad,crying,fallind down(oh yeah...broken ribs..broken ankle,broken knee) shes the champ alright..killing me cuz I love her. My happiness is gone.
But its the lies that kill me.

dandylion

Suedecurtis....Yep....lies are part of the disease....so is denial...
Sounds like you may be nearing the end of your tolerance.....

http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=19682

You might find the above article helpful...."Addictions, Lies and Relationships"........

Maudcat

Hi, Suedecurtis.
Welcome.

FeelingGreat

Hi, maybe you'd be mentally better equiped if you just accept that she's drinking; you don't need her to agree, it's obvious. The discussion with her is making you crazy as she denies the obvious, and forcing her to lie because she's determined to

Once you've got over this mental hurdle you can concentrate or the future. How will you protect your mental well-being? What boundaries can you set for yourself?

I suggest you read as much as you can around the forum and in other places and really educate yourself on alcoholism. Al-anon is another option.

needuall

If the addicts lips are moving --they are lying. In my experience, I feel this is true whether or not they are using at the time or not, drunk or not drunk. I understand suedecurtis- it can just get to be too much! Do others feel like the lying is beyond tolerable?

honeypig

What would it change if she DID admit she'd been drinking?

Are you looking more for an admission that she has a problem w/drinking? If so, it seems unlikely that she will give you one, based on your description of things.

Reading around the forums here and looking into Alanon for some f2f education and support might both be useful to you in getting to a place where you can see what's going on more clearly as well as what your options might be. You CAN find a way through this.

Mummyto2

Hi, I used to lie to my husband when it was clear I was drunk, its such a horrible disease, but she has to want to get sober, no one or nothing can make her only herself, as if she does it for any other reason it will fail, I feel for you, good luck

AnvilheadII

if you move from trying to MAKE her admit to simply ACCEPTING that it is what it is, perhaps you could make different choices for your own piece of mind. detach from what is going on with her - you have a pretty lengthy body of work on that - and focus on what is going on with you, what steps you need to take.