Mind Games
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 6
Mind Games
Hi everyone, it's been a while since I posted. Just needing to vent a bit.
I had been attending Alanon meetings, seeing my therapist, keeping my distance from my AH, and exercising until...my AH came to visit our kids (we've been separated 4 months) and told me he wanted to "try" again because he loved me. He even played some songs for me which "made him nostalgic" about us. I put all my eggs in that basket once again. Fast forward 2 weeks and he is on the fence again because "I'm doing so well without him."
I feel so foolish and a bit angry at myself for fantasizing with the possibility of a reconciliation. I let my guard down, I guess it's back to square one, except a bit stronger.
I had been attending Alanon meetings, seeing my therapist, keeping my distance from my AH, and exercising until...my AH came to visit our kids (we've been separated 4 months) and told me he wanted to "try" again because he loved me. He even played some songs for me which "made him nostalgic" about us. I put all my eggs in that basket once again. Fast forward 2 weeks and he is on the fence again because "I'm doing so well without him."
I feel so foolish and a bit angry at myself for fantasizing with the possibility of a reconciliation. I let my guard down, I guess it's back to square one, except a bit stronger.
Caprigirl, think of it as a learning experience, albeit one that sucks. Life doesn't come with a set of foolproof instructions, and if it did we probably wouldn't read them.
AH might have been feeling his way too, or discouraged that you didn't fall apart without him. It could even have been as simple as him wanting to drink.
Please don't beat yourself up for giving reconciliation a try.
AH might have been feeling his way too, or discouraged that you didn't fall apart without him. It could even have been as simple as him wanting to drink.
Please don't beat yourself up for giving reconciliation a try.
Sometimes it takes a step back to move a step forward. As soon as he came running back you fell for it. Lesson learned, and hopefully will simply make you look at the big picture of what YOU deserve.
Big hugs. I say this with kindness because I know it's hard!
Big hugs. I say this with kindness because I know it's hard!
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