Sucks to be a newbie
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Originally Posted by cwohio
... hang in there and take jojo's advice.
thanx for your encouragement
Mike :-)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Originally Posted by BigSis
... Welcome and here's a big ol' hug...
Originally Posted by BigSis
... I tell my husband I only go to Al-Anon for the hugs, anyway (wink).
Originally Posted by BigSis
... I had a bridge abutment all picked out and everything, I even started saying good bye to things...
Originally Posted by BigSis
... I really didn't want to leave here, but I was hurting too much to stay.
Now all you Al-Anon's are stuck with a smart-mouthed newbie who thinks he's got all the answers ;-)
Originally Posted by BigSis
... Now I gotta stay... those folks NEED me!
thanx for all the support and encouragement, you rock :-)
Mike :-)
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Originally Posted by Alice Wonder
... Mike i am so proud of you for taking charge of your own happiness....
Originally Posted by Alice Wonder
... opening up like you have done and allowing others to share your journey is wonderful and very generous of you.
thanx for your love and prayers
Mike :-)
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
Looks like Gelfling, smells like Gelfling....IT IS GELFLING!!!--"Augra"...Yeppers, it was the Dark Crystal. My sons' favorite movie and he's a 24 year old recovering alcoholic.
You sound great today. There will be ups and downs. No doubt about that. But, as time goes on, the good will outweigh the bad. Promise!!!
As to being an oldtimer...darn, I'm only 53. Is that old? Well, the body says so, but the mind is still running in overdrive.
So many of us have been where you are and we've gotten through it all. I only wish that when my husband went to rehab 17 years ago, there were such things as home computers, internet and awesomely wonderful forums like this. I never did the meetings. Neither did my son. But that was my fault. We were told we were doing very well for living with a raging drunk. So, I took it as we didn't need to attend meetings. WRONG
It wasn't until the beginning of this year that I started working my program. Because our son told us he was fighting the disease. I knew I could never live through another episode of the hell and pain, so I started going to meetings and forums. They've given me hope, faith and trust in myself, my son and of course, God.
Basically, I lost 17 years being totally ignorant to what was out there to help me heal. You could say I'm an oldtimer with the alcoholic, but basically a newbie to a recovery program that has changed my life and made living good again.
We're here for you. I've never seen so many words of wisdom as I have from the folks who have posted in response to yours. I wish I had found this site months ago. But like they say, "In God's time".
Grace and Blessings, Kathy
You sound great today. There will be ups and downs. No doubt about that. But, as time goes on, the good will outweigh the bad. Promise!!!
As to being an oldtimer...darn, I'm only 53. Is that old? Well, the body says so, but the mind is still running in overdrive.
So many of us have been where you are and we've gotten through it all. I only wish that when my husband went to rehab 17 years ago, there were such things as home computers, internet and awesomely wonderful forums like this. I never did the meetings. Neither did my son. But that was my fault. We were told we were doing very well for living with a raging drunk. So, I took it as we didn't need to attend meetings. WRONG
It wasn't until the beginning of this year that I started working my program. Because our son told us he was fighting the disease. I knew I could never live through another episode of the hell and pain, so I started going to meetings and forums. They've given me hope, faith and trust in myself, my son and of course, God.
Basically, I lost 17 years being totally ignorant to what was out there to help me heal. You could say I'm an oldtimer with the alcoholic, but basically a newbie to a recovery program that has changed my life and made living good again.
We're here for you. I've never seen so many words of wisdom as I have from the folks who have posted in response to yours. I wish I had found this site months ago. But like they say, "In God's time".
Grace and Blessings, Kathy
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Originally Posted by gelfling
... Looks like Gelfling, smells like Gelfling....IT IS GELFLING!!!--"Augra"...Yeppers, it was the Dark Crystal.
Originally Posted by gelfling
... and he's a 24 year old recovering alcoholic.
Originally Posted by gelfling
... You sound great today.
Originally Posted by gelfling
... as time goes on, the good will outweigh the bad. Promise!!!
Originally Posted by gelfling
... As to being an oldtimer...darn, I'm only 53. Is that old?
By oldtimer I meant experienced in the Al-Anon program. I just went to my very first meeting a few days ago so that makes me a newcomer and you the oldtimer :-)
Originally Posted by gelfling
... So many of us have been where you are and we've gotten through it all.
Originally Posted by gelfling
... It wasn't until the beginning of this year that I started working my program.
Originally Posted by gelfling
... I've never seen so many words of wisdom as I have from the folks who have
posted in response to yours.
posted in response to yours.
Originally Posted by gelfling
... I wish I had found this site months ago. But like they say, "In God's time".
Mike :-)
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In the mountain air
Posts: 1,345
DesertEyes
Recovery is a process - a slow one. You get a little here, you take a little there, and you give some somewhere else. I didn't realize that right away. I wasn't getting it, that each little bit brought me somewhere new, but I was getting there with baby steps, not giant leaps. A month goes by, I read some past posts, and see the difference between then and now. This morning I woke up, and being Saturday, I had the opportunity to lie around in bed, and without my son home, I was undisturbed (my
A was working). I felt so relaxed, truly at peace. I realized that I was at another point in my recovery. I still remember when I felt like you are feeling. And I remember last month. The difference now - I look forward to next month. I look forward to finding out how much further I can go in this process. I look forward to bettering me, rather than fighting to make my loved ones into what I want them to be rather than letting them be who they are. I don't mean that to sound like I think that Mike was okay the way he was (during active addiction). I do mean that I can't force recovery on him. He had to choose that for himself. I mean that I have to accept what I can't change. I mean that I have to set boundaries and stick to them about what I will or will not accept. I have to detach from the things that are not within my ability to control. Some of those things I can do. Some of those things I struggle with. But the further I get in my recovery, the better I feel about those things. They begin to not feel so insurmountable. I can feel happiness now, not because Mike is in recovery. Because I am. Each day I improve upon me. Each day, I see something I handled better than I would have a month ago. Each day, I see something that once would have been an argument, but today, was a conversation. And all of those things are "just for today". Tomorrow, the conversation might be an argument. Nothing stays the same. You might want it to, but it won't. You might not want it to, but might find that you wish it had. Or, you might be completely thrilled with the difference. In the end, the only thing that is certain, is that tomorrow - it will change again. I'm not familiar with you exact situation. What I do know now, is that just like Mike had to find his own path and fight his own battle, so did I. Just like I can enable him, I can better support his good decisions, and detach myself from his poor decisions. I have to make things better for me. You will too. You've already started - you're here, you're at f2f meetings, you're posting, you're finding support. In one month, re-read your old posts. You'll see a difference. And you will see that it was YOU making the difference. Good luck. I can see in your post that you care alot about what has been happening in your life and your relationship. Keep working on you, keep taking care of you. Keep posting, posting, and posting.
Trisha
Recovery is a process - a slow one. You get a little here, you take a little there, and you give some somewhere else. I didn't realize that right away. I wasn't getting it, that each little bit brought me somewhere new, but I was getting there with baby steps, not giant leaps. A month goes by, I read some past posts, and see the difference between then and now. This morning I woke up, and being Saturday, I had the opportunity to lie around in bed, and without my son home, I was undisturbed (my
A was working). I felt so relaxed, truly at peace. I realized that I was at another point in my recovery. I still remember when I felt like you are feeling. And I remember last month. The difference now - I look forward to next month. I look forward to finding out how much further I can go in this process. I look forward to bettering me, rather than fighting to make my loved ones into what I want them to be rather than letting them be who they are. I don't mean that to sound like I think that Mike was okay the way he was (during active addiction). I do mean that I can't force recovery on him. He had to choose that for himself. I mean that I have to accept what I can't change. I mean that I have to set boundaries and stick to them about what I will or will not accept. I have to detach from the things that are not within my ability to control. Some of those things I can do. Some of those things I struggle with. But the further I get in my recovery, the better I feel about those things. They begin to not feel so insurmountable. I can feel happiness now, not because Mike is in recovery. Because I am. Each day I improve upon me. Each day, I see something I handled better than I would have a month ago. Each day, I see something that once would have been an argument, but today, was a conversation. And all of those things are "just for today". Tomorrow, the conversation might be an argument. Nothing stays the same. You might want it to, but it won't. You might not want it to, but might find that you wish it had. Or, you might be completely thrilled with the difference. In the end, the only thing that is certain, is that tomorrow - it will change again. I'm not familiar with you exact situation. What I do know now, is that just like Mike had to find his own path and fight his own battle, so did I. Just like I can enable him, I can better support his good decisions, and detach myself from his poor decisions. I have to make things better for me. You will too. You've already started - you're here, you're at f2f meetings, you're posting, you're finding support. In one month, re-read your old posts. You'll see a difference. And you will see that it was YOU making the difference. Good luck. I can see in your post that you care alot about what has been happening in your life and your relationship. Keep working on you, keep taking care of you. Keep posting, posting, and posting.
Trisha
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