I am just going to say that I believe you may be OVER-CO PARENTING. I made this term up of course, but I did this myself when XAH and I split. Come to find out, it was even harder on my kids. You have to be able to get the space you need while still being considerate and handle things in an almost professional way.
I am in a customer service field of work. I deal with angry clients once in a while. I think of my XAH like an angry client. I still act professional and courteous with him when necessary, yet I still walk away at the end of the day, roll my eyes, and move on.
I know it's not quite that easy, but it does help me some to have that attitude about it. There was no way I was able to move on while still being so tied to him.
"I never knew how strong I was until I had to forgive someone who wasn't sorry, and accept an apology I never received