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Old 07-17-2017, 07:11 AM   #21 (permalink)
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My last hurrah with my ex was a camping trip. Everything was actually not that bad until he started drinking the booze he'd snuck on the trip. He got drunk and hid it so cleverly that he couldn't find it and thought one of us had taken hit.

We hid out at a neighboring campsite while he ranted and raved and threatened to kill us. This was in a very isolated spot in Allegheny National Forest. We'd come on this wonderful "vacation" at his insistence and he was a jerk the whole time.

I'd gone along with it because I knew he would pout and drink and rage if I didn't, but he pouted and drank and raged anyway. It took me a long time to get out of the habit of tiptoeing around him, even after we were apart. This isn't anything to do with other people, he's going to be angry no matter what, all I could do was get out of the way and ignore it as much as possible.

I just took a 1500 mille road trip with my kids and we had a blast. It can be done. You're much more capable than you give yourself credit for!

Hope you are safe and able to enjoy your trip. Take care.
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Old 07-17-2017, 08:00 AM   #22 (permalink)
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I am just going to say that I believe you may be OVER-CO PARENTING. I made this term up of course, but I did this myself when XAH and I split. Come to find out, it was even harder on my kids. You have to be able to get the space you need while still being considerate and handle things in an almost professional way.

I am in a customer service field of work. I deal with angry clients once in a while. I think of my XAH like an angry client. I still act professional and courteous with him when necessary, yet I still walk away at the end of the day, roll my eyes, and move on.

I know it's not quite that easy, but it does help me some to have that attitude about it. There was no way I was able to move on while still being so tied to him.

Big hugs!
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Old 07-17-2017, 08:18 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Do you think maybe you are doing the family camping cos you are not ready to move on Batchel?
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Old 07-17-2017, 09:28 AM   #24 (permalink)
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In my experience, most people that are angry, are angry because of control issues. Things don't go according to the scripts written out in their head, so they get frustrated and angry because this is not the way things are supposed to be.

Alcoholics seem to demonstrate this behavior in spades, but it is not unique to alcoholics by any stretch.
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