Alcoholic Boss
 

Hi!
My boss has been an alcoholic for as long as I can remember.
He's in his early sixties now and this plus his coke habit and a recent cancer scare have become a perfect storm of disfunctionality.
A few days ago he just flipped out at me screaming f@#k off f@#k off, get out of my f@#king sight!!!
I won't bore you with the rest but that was the least offensive part.
It ended up with me getting my coat and bag and leaving work.
That night he ended up doing so much coke that there was loads left lying there the next day which the young ones at work scraped up for there own use.
I didn't see him the next day and now we are ignoring each other.
I've worked for him for 25 years.
I've taken legal advice and I'm better off staying put because of redundancy pay etc.
He's circling the drain and I don't know what's going to happen.
I'm going to my Al anon meeting later thankfully.
He was absolutely disgusting.

Well, this is a problem for you.
You have to stay? Really?
I would leave, redundancy or no.
Nothing is worth staying in a toxic drunk environment where the drunk has power over you.

Why is it that you need to stay? I would be questioning the choice of staying. One, you don't need abuse at work. Two, how long can a business thrive if he and others are addicts?

how can it be wise to STAY in such a situation with a boss who is an addict and is "circling the drain" meaning that the business is likely to fail at some time,to say nothing of your self respect and protection from further abuse??? that's like giving up a seat in the lifeboat cuz you wanna hear the song the band is playing on deck...........

lol - love it!!!

I agree, start looking for a new job NOW. From the sound of it that pay check you want to stay for just may bounce one of these days. No business can sustain itself for very long with a boss's progressive coke addiction.

Is this the sort of thing you would post to a woman who is married to an alcoholic?
Why don't you just leave?? I wouldn't stay, no way etc... thousands of pounds??...and?
Very judgemental and shows no empathy or insight.
Perhaps you can leave ten thousand pounds behind and walk away with your handkerchief of clothes on a stick but I'm not in a position to do that.

Leaving a job is a lot different from leaving a marriage. Hopefully you don't have an emotional attachment to your job--at least not the way you would to a spouse, partner, or family member. And if you WERE in a marriage and said you were miserable and staying only for the money, I think we'd be urging the same thing--not worth it for the money.

You spend a huge portion of your life working--to me, no amount of money makes it worthwhile for me to stay where I'm truly miserable. If I were you, I'd be trying to explore alternatives and how to swing it financially.

But it's your life--if the money IS that important to you, then I guess it's worth it for you.

Spookyboo, what's to say you're guaranteed all that money anyway by staying? It doesn't sound like your boss is in much of a position to keep his company going...

Also, being married to an AH, I find it quite a bit easier to walk away from a boss than a marriage, so yes, the advice to leave in this case DOES seem sound.

At the very least, you can start looking for another job asap. Or have you considered legal action against him? I'm not sure if you're in the U.S. or not, but that kind of behavior sounds illegal.

Again, being married to an AH, I feel like leaving a toxic work environment would be worlds easier, unless there are mitigating factors that we don't know about.

Hi

In my original post I said I took legal advice immediately and was told to stay put
Obviously things will change and I won't be there much longer. Here in the UK even if closes the business and declared himself bankrupt the government has a scheme where they will reimburse me but in order to get that I have to stay or I will get nothing.

Hi Lexiecat!

My experience has always been that you tell people till your blue in the face to leave or dump there other half alcoholic or not they never do because I or anyone else pointed out they are wasting there time.
" Why don't you leave? Run for the hills !! "
Oh, I never thought of that.
If it were so simple Al anon wouldn't exist for a start

That's well and good--no doubt it is sound legal advice. The thing is, though, your lawyer can't advise you on what is best for your mental/emotional health. If you are able to let this roll off you and not be affected in that way, great. However, if it DOES affect your personal well-being, I would weigh that more heavily than I would the economic end of things.

Sorry, I missed that part.

I guess I just have to say I'm very sorry the law doesn't protect you better :(

If I were you, I'd also be concerned for my physical safety. I really hope you find a good solution soon. Perhaps you could find a new job that pays better and will make up for the money you stand to lose?

I understand how tough the financial aspect can be. Maybe because I have an AH instead of an A boss, my perspective of leaving that situation seems easier.

As Judge Judy says " the law is concerned with justice not emotions. If you want to talk about your emotions go see Dr Phil "

Thanks for your kind reply!

I'm not worried about physical safety. He is a coward. He couldn't kill a rubber ducky

I see. I am glad that you have gotten legal advise, and am sorry you have to continue to be exposed to him. At least you don't fear your safety.

Is this the sort of thing you would post to a woman who is married to an alcoholic?

Yes. I say it a lot on here. I did leave 10k behind. In fact I lost a whole lot more...nearer 400k and that was from a marriage not just a job. You can get a new job if you want too but if you'd rather stay and suck up the continuing drama and abuse for 10k then carry on. Am not sure why you posted cos people have given you good advice and you have dissed it and come off as a bit rude tbh.

Spookyboo...you sound like a smart (and strong) lady...and, I am confident that you will do what you consider the best thing for you!

Ugh!!

After living with an addict and that behavior daily, If I could walk I would. SB, you are worth so much more then the abuse he gives you. You never know what is out there, look around.

In my mind mental stability means more to me then financial.

Hugs my friend, keep attending Alanon as you need it.

Thanks Dandylion! That's good of you to say. I appreciate it!

so you posted about a problem in your life,with your boss....but you state you have no plans to LEAVE your place of employments......i guess i missed what the point was then? obviously not advice....

however i must say that it is quite REASONABLE for someone to suggest that staying in such a toxic environment is NOT healthy. a job is not a marriage.

have you started looking for other employment? getting those ducks in a row? :duck:duck:duck