Should I even do this?
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Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,144
Also keep an eye on credit reports. Maybe freeze the credit reports to prevent new credit cards from being opened up.
My mother had BPD. Every few years she'd decide she doesn't need her medication anymore. It's very common for BPD. Watch out for signs that she may be off her medication.
My mother had BPD. Every few years she'd decide she doesn't need her medication anymore. It's very common for BPD. Watch out for signs that she may be off her medication.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 39
I watch her take her meds, so she can't easily get around that one. I guess one thing I am lucky is that she take meds without fuss. I am the one with the mail key, so I don't think she would try to get a new credit card. Surprisingly she was ok with me taking away all her access to the $.
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 202
Originally Posted by LexieCat 
So if she's staggering and slurring but you can't confirm she's drinking, you WOULD let her drive? If she's obviously impaired, for whatever reason (even staying up all night), she has no business driving and putting other people at risk. As for the legal fees, etc., if you call the police on her, if she's impaired she's likely to get stopped anyway and/or cause a serious accident. If you think the fees/costs of a DUI are high, think about what they would be if she kills someone.
You should never physically stop her from driving (exposes you to potential charges), but you could hide the keys when she's not fit to drive. If she manages to do it anyway and you know she's impaired, I'd make the call, personally.
You should never physically stop her from driving (exposes you to potential charges), but you could hide the keys when she's not fit to drive. If she manages to do it anyway and you know she's impaired, I'd make the call, personally.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qN2oPp5Dmr0
... and this one about alcoholics hurting other people ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37evH0iJxkU
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
I watch her take her meds, so she can't easily get around that one. I guess one thing I am lucky is that she take meds without fuss. I am the one with the mail key, so I don't think she would try to get a new credit card. Surprisingly she was ok with me taking away all her access to the $.
while all of these "acts of limiting" on your behalf may appear to be working, i caution you to become the Drug Police, Money Police, Car Key Police, leaving the property unsupervised police, etc etc. remember your wife is a full grown adult and you move into dangerous territory of confinement, even with good intentions. plus it is exhausting to be on continual watch, control everything, and force another to change behaviors. don't let your home become a prison, for either of you............
while all of these "acts of limiting" on your behalf may appear to be working, i caution you to become the Drug Police, Money Police, Car Key Police, leaving the property unsupervised police, etc etc. remember your wife is a full grown adult and you move into dangerous territory of confinement, even with good intentions. plus it is exhausting to be on continual watch, control everything, and force another to change behaviors. don't let your home become a prison, for either of you............
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,003
Irk BrianTX, this sounds pretty difficult. I'm glad you found us.
We had another man on here from TX, TXjeep (or something like that). His AGF was nuts and he wound up having to move out of his own home. The police wherever he was in Texas didn't take the abuse very seriously. Unfortunately when it is the woman who is the abuser, it seems like it is taken less seriously. This isn't fair.
Keep learning; take care of yourself and let us know how you get on.
We had another man on here from TX, TXjeep (or something like that). His AGF was nuts and he wound up having to move out of his own home. The police wherever he was in Texas didn't take the abuse very seriously. Unfortunately when it is the woman who is the abuser, it seems like it is taken less seriously. This isn't fair.
Keep learning; take care of yourself and let us know how you get on.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
This was true in my case...
...only after long term sobriety was she willing and able to engage in treatment for mental illness issues. also, when she was drinking regularly it was evident to the mental health providers and they refused to treat her.
while not perfect, things have improved substantially and life, for the most part, is manageable with her. as always, i would caution those looking for "proof" you can be happy staying in a relationship with an alcoholic, I didn't say happy. I said manageable.
my official position, as always and this applies to me too, is that something is profoundly broken in those who stay in relationships with addicts and alcoholics who aren't in long term sobriety (5 years or more IMHO).
C-
while not perfect, things have improved substantially and life, for the most part, is manageable with her. as always, i would caution those looking for "proof" you can be happy staying in a relationship with an alcoholic, I didn't say happy. I said manageable.
my official position, as always and this applies to me too, is that something is profoundly broken in those who stay in relationships with addicts and alcoholics who aren't in long term sobriety (5 years or more IMHO).
C-
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
until your wife has some considerable sober time under her belt, it will be impossible to determine whether there is truly an underlying mental health component or not.
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