He's working in sobriety and keeping me at arms length
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Join Date: Jun 2017
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No, I'm not an alcoholic. But I have addictive traits. My bf (ex bf) whatever he is - is the alcoholic. No, I should not use other men, but they "want " to be used sometimes- if you get what I'm saying. Bottom line - my A bf and I enjoy every minute of each other. But we both agree that I should go to al Anon.
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Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
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Originally Posted by confusedarewe 
No, I'm not an alcoholic. But I have addictive traits. My bf (ex bf) whatever he is - is the alcoholic. No, I should not use other men, but they "want " to be used sometimes- if you get what I'm saying.
good luck on your jourrney.
your abf and your gonna go screwing other men.
siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick
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Join Date: Jun 2017
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All I'm saying is that the men I've met ALL want to JUST have sex- no ties. I'm seeing a pattern. So if everybody wants to say it's disturbing - yes it is disturbing!!! My point exactly. Unless you've walked in my shoes with MY experiences, I can't be judged. Just like I have no right to judge my alcoholic man or any other. Anyway- I think I'm just going to work on me but continue to see my man while he works on sobriety at the same time. One day at a time.
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Location: Long Island, NY
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I know you left, but I just wanted to say that there's nothing "wrong" with casual sex when both parties consent. It is never OK use people who don't clearly understand that they're agreeing to specifically being used, though. A sex-positive woman who claims agency over her own sexuality is wonderful, but casual sex is a good thing only when the participants are basically emotionally healthy, agree ahead of time to the parameters and are having genuine fun. You're not in that place. Casual sex and casual dating are never a healing balm for pain and almost always makes things worse.
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This is true FallenAngelina. I know someone who only wants casual sex and for me it would be too. I guess I led people to think I was using men. Again, how do you use a man who ONLY wants sex and no ties? I wasn't looking for "new" men to date. But after my talks with my so called bf- I think I'll just see him, have fun with him and see where it goes. We are always happy to see each other which is a good feeling.
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I think all you have to do is be honest. A lot of people date or hookup but are honest in that its all they are looking for. I mean there are tons of movies based on this premise. lol As long as you watch your own emotions, and stay honest with whoever you are seeing then.. well you cant control their emotions.. some people may think they can change you or make you fall in love with them and have their own ideas not shared with you, etc. But thats on them, not you.
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