Here I go doing and saying the wrong things
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 65
I'm sorry for posting about this.
I still feel super depressed after blocking and feel the need to contact him and explain myself. Why?
I broke down and cried this morning. I have no idea what is the right thing to do. I don't want to hurt him anymore. I don't want to hurt me anymore. I know this is a normal response to seeing your ex again, the feelings flood back and I regret it/don't want it to continue. I honestly didn't think id be in so much pain all week from this- what a wake up call. I was talking to my mom yesterday and she seems to have such strong boundaries established; she goes, I would just ignore him if he called or texted and I wouldn't feel guilty. Not even look at a text. It amazed me that people could do that- not feel guilt. I have a long way to go. Clearly.
Any insight (again) would be helpful. I keep battling if I should just let him know how I'm feeling and then resume no contact. Or just keep him blocked. I feel an overwhelming desire to let him know I can't keep communication open because it prevents me from healing/moving on. It's like I need the reassurance or need to feel like I'm heard and understood.
I was def in the sadness stage to begin with and Saturday just made everything worse.
I still feel super depressed after blocking and feel the need to contact him and explain myself. Why?
I broke down and cried this morning. I have no idea what is the right thing to do. I don't want to hurt him anymore. I don't want to hurt me anymore. I know this is a normal response to seeing your ex again, the feelings flood back and I regret it/don't want it to continue. I honestly didn't think id be in so much pain all week from this- what a wake up call. I was talking to my mom yesterday and she seems to have such strong boundaries established; she goes, I would just ignore him if he called or texted and I wouldn't feel guilty. Not even look at a text. It amazed me that people could do that- not feel guilt. I have a long way to go. Clearly.
Any insight (again) would be helpful. I keep battling if I should just let him know how I'm feeling and then resume no contact. Or just keep him blocked. I feel an overwhelming desire to let him know I can't keep communication open because it prevents me from healing/moving on. It's like I need the reassurance or need to feel like I'm heard and understood.
I was def in the sadness stage to begin with and Saturday just made everything worse.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
WE hear you and WE understand.
do think a bit about your thinking.....you want to BREAK no contact AGAIN to tell him you are going back to NO CONTACT.
don't look to him for permission to live your life and make your choices. i suspect he's not nearly as "hurt" as you think or maybe even hope he is.
your mom has the right idea.
do think a bit about your thinking.....you want to BREAK no contact AGAIN to tell him you are going back to NO CONTACT.
don't look to him for permission to live your life and make your choices. i suspect he's not nearly as "hurt" as you think or maybe even hope he is.
your mom has the right idea.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
^^^
Yep, you don't contact someone to tell them you aren't going to contact them. T\hat's a codie quack if I ever heard one
I should know, I've come up with plenty of them...
If you can keep resisting that urge, it WILL subside.
Yep, you don't contact someone to tell them you aren't going to contact them. T\hat's a codie quack if I ever heard one
I should know, I've come up with plenty of them...If you can keep resisting that urge, it WILL subside.
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