AlcSis

Hi all

Haven't posted in a long while. Still come here often to read and get support. I received some great support/advice here about 2 years ago regarding my A Sister. I set some strong boundaries with her which probably - no - DID save my sanity and my life.

Within the boundaries I set, I stayed in contact with her by phone and text. (Living alone in a remote area she expressed concern that she could die and her body could/would not be found for weeks.....)

So, I told her I would stay in touch and every 2-3 weeks I would call or text her just to say hi. (She is not a talker, calling more frequently is/was just not a good thing.)

(By the way, she also has very severe untreated depression, and has attempted suicide twice and mentions it as an option- especially after her dog passes away.)

Our conversations/texts have been very short. But I think she appreciated my calls - and - (selfish, I know,) I knew she was alive.

(Sometimes I would applaud her for her efforts to do yoga, chat about her dog and tell her that I loved her.)

Now - she has made it clear that she wants no longer wants to talk or text with me.

I am going to respect her wish.

Is she still drinking?
Yes/No - Well I know she still drinks SOMETIMES - but I don't know how much and don't ask.

(Detachment works!)

Today I am admitting that I am already missing her voice - even if we only spoke so infrequently. Missing knowing she is alive on the day I call.

And I miss the sister I once had. The nonalcoholic one. Smart, artistic and caring.

But then I MUST
Remember the Absolute Craziness
That the diseases of alcoholism and depression have created within my sister. (Which also affects her family and friends.) (Including me.)

I miss her but not the craziness!!!!!

Remembering the craziness
Has kept me from trying to rescue her, or even thinking about allowing her to live with me.

So, I when I start really missing our occasional calls, I will Remember the Craziness

And (hope) that if/when she dies - that one of her sons will notify me.


To help alleviate my fear of the WORST - (a death too soon)

***One Day At A Time***

A new "Affirmation" has been added to my prayers and thoughts ----

"No News Is Good News"

Thanks SR for being here and reading and listening.

hopeful4

Hello, it's good to hear from you! I remember your story well.

Can I ask, what made her decide to cut off contact all together? Nothing specific of course, it just seems you had a good thing going in at least you had some contact w/her.

Just sending you a huge hug!

AlcSis

Hi
Thanks for your concern. Thanks for the welcome and hug.

For anonymity can't get into specifics.

But I have contacted one of her sons.
Asked him to check in with her more often by phone or text,
because we (my sis and myself) had a falling out. (They
(sis and this son) rarely talk).

(She will probably be really pi$$ed at me if/when she finds out about my call. But....I felt it is the right thing to do. She has taken a couple of falls. And we are in a heat wave!

He said he KNOWS she is difficult, etc. Told me not to worry.

He has been through he## with her. Poor young man.

Oh boy....Life is/can be difficult....
Thankful for my
Higher Power, Sober Recovery,
Alanon, and my wonderful Angel Sponsor (deceased)

hopeful4

I completely understand. It's sad and terrible. There is a point however that sometimes you turn a person over to God, and love them from afar. That is absolutely OK and does not mean you love them any less. Glad to hear from you!