Good news? Possibly?
 

Just heard from my lawyer. He got off the phone with ex's lawyer this morning, and apparently ex's lawyer thinks ex would be willing to sign an agreement to change the divorce order on consent (to give me sole custody of Kid). It seems like all the endless documentation I did of ex's drunken screwups over the past year might pay off - ex's lawyer said ex was anxious to keep all of that out of the public record as he's currently wrangling with ex-wife #2 over divorce issues (if the custody matter proceeded to trial, all of that material would be entered as part of my affidavit).

Apparently ex's lawyer says that the narrative account I created "hits very close to home" and he agrees that Kid needs stability and to ensure that the adults making decisions for her are capable of consistently exercising good judgment - both of which would be achieved by a custody change with generous access to Dad (with me being able to limit access when needed, of course).

I don't want to count my chickens (or quacking ducks) before they are hatched and this could still go sideways - but this is the most positive thing I've heard in a while. I told my lawyer to draft a consent order, send it to me to look at, and I will get back to him as fast as humanly possible.

Yup, if he's willing now, best to strike while the iron is hot.

Fingers crossed!!

Yes! That is great. I agree, get it done ASAP!

The more people he has an opportunity to talk to about it, the more people who could change his mind.

HUGS, Sasha - hoping for a speedy, and satisfying as possible end to it all for you and your kiddo.

This is exactly what I'm trying to do to get STBXAH out of the house. He won't want ex #1 getting the info I have on him.

Hooray!

Good luck! My advice is document document document and let your lawyer know exactly what you have. What is it with these dudes and their multiple ticked-off and fed-up ex-wives? (X2 and I actually share quite a bit of information and commiseration - I think we should go on a cruise together once her divorce and my custody issue get settled :c033:).

Yay, Sasha, GREAT news!!!

Fingers & Toes crossed!!! :grouphug:

Still haven't heard anything further from my lawyer - I realize that I am probably impatient and my case isn't the most pressing thing on his docket, but to me this is really, really important. I'm hesitant to pester because every time I make a phone call it costs me $$, but I would like to move this ahead, esp. since next week is Father's Day which will not do good things for ex's state of mind.

I'd call. A quick update won't cost much and it's worth it.

Just called and left voicemail message. Will call again tomorrow morning.

Oh, I'm sure he is still on the ex's side--the ex is the client. What the lawyer said was a negotiating position--taking the reasonable approach, which is what the lawyer feels is of benefit to client. Most lawyers, thankfully, can be civil and reasonable in their practice. There are only a few nasty ones who want to make everything a war. I don't think they serve their clients well.

Sounds promising - fingers crossed! Keep us posted:)

Quick update for anyone following this:

Heard from lawyer on Friday. He has drafted a consent order to send to ex's lawyer - I read it, okayed it, and asked him to send it out as soon as possible. The draft is really simple: basically, it says that ex and I have agreed that it is in Kid's best interests for me to have sole custody. Ex will have "reasonable and generous" visitation and will have the right to receive all information pertaining to Kid from schools, medical professionals, etc. If either party wishes to amend this order, they must give the other party ten days written notice before commencing court action.

There's no mention of alcohol or addiction anywhere. The lawyer says this is meant as an inducement to ex to sign. If he signs on consent, there's just this bland statement about how we have come to an agreement. If he doesn't sign and this goes before a judge in some form, I will need to prove my case which will involve bringing out all the evidence I've organized about ex's addiction and his issues with mental illness, most of which makes him look pretty bad (and crazy). So - signing on consent = he keeps some of his privacy. It's a mildly sleazy strategy (and plays on the addict's mania for secrecy), but I'll go for anything that will get his signature on a document for sole custody.

Now I wait to hear back from ex's lawyer, and try to resist the temptation to phone every 30 minutes to see if there's been a response. I know I should leave it for at least a week before following up. Fingers crossed!

Hope all goes well Sasha.

Keep us posted