keepongoing1369

Hey guys,

The boyfriend has been out of rehab for about a week now. It's a confusing time... we're long distance, which I think I'm actually really grateful for at the moment. But its difficult to know where we stand and what's going on in our relationship? Does that make sense?

Things weren't going well before he checked into rehab... he was very cold and distant, and I was feeling really hurt... I told him I needed space and that we should take things slow, because I was really enjoying focusing on me and my life. And I still am. He's been nicer to me since coming out of rehab, but I still really confused. Still dealing with a lot of upset and pain I didn't acknowledge before, because I was just so concerned about his well-being...

Doing therapy and reading about codependency and undergoing major life changes. I guess I'm just feeling impatient today. One of those days I want everything to be fixed and make sense right NOW... not really how it works... just wanted a little support and your guys' thoughts

LexieCat

Two thoughts. If you are tired of waiting and are ready to be done, there's nothing wrong with that. However, if you're not, I think the only thing to do is to keep chilling, keep doing what you're doing, and see what happens. Really no shortcuts, unfortunately.

Maudcat

Time and distance will bring clarity, keepongoing.
Give your SO the space to work his recovery as you work on yours.
Hugs.

LexieCat

Oh, and I just wanted to add, that patience isn't my strong suit, either. Dealing with uncertainty was the hardest part of this for me. I can tell you, though, that I've gotten MUCH more tolerant of it with practice.

Just wanted to let you know I totally get it.

keepongoing1369

Thanks guys. Time and distance is giving more perspective. Every day brings new realizations. Some days I think, just end it already! And some days I couldn't be more grateful for the good stuff. Hopefully a more consistent perspective will come soon...