Don't you love it when...
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Originally Posted by Kiwidub 
Most of the men you are all describing here sound like narcissists and the behaviour sounds like gas lighting. My mother is a flaming narcissist, so I have some experience here.
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Originally Posted by Kiwidub
..... sounds like gas lighting.
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Originally Posted by steve-in-kville
I always thought it meant trying to make the victim feel like they are going crazy.
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Gaslighting: trying to convince someone that they are wrong about something that they have observed to be true. E.g.
Person 1: You know I really love only you.
Person 2: But I've seen the texts you sent your old girlfriend!
Person 1: You really need to work on your jealousy issues. I just TOLD you that you're the only person I love. You've obviously got a problem.
Person 1: I asked you to cut down on your drinking and you said you would, but today I find all these empties buried in the trash.
Person 2: Why are you assuming it must be me that drank them all? You're so negative and judgmental. I TOLD you I was going to drink less, if you don't trust me, you're the one with the real problem.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Person 1: You know I really love only you.
Person 2: But I've seen the texts you sent your old girlfriend!
Person 1: You really need to work on your jealousy issues. I just TOLD you that you're the only person I love. You've obviously got a problem.
Person 1: I asked you to cut down on your drinking and you said you would, but today I find all these empties buried in the trash.
Person 2: Why are you assuming it must be me that drank them all? You're so negative and judgmental. I TOLD you I was going to drink less, if you don't trust me, you're the one with the real problem.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
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Originally Posted by thousandwords53
...
He has a terrible boundary habit of constantly waking me up when he's awake. Like in the mornings, he leaves an hour or two before my alarm goes off. He does not make an effort to get ready quietly while the rest of us sleep and he will even start conversations with me as I'm asleep so I wake up having to answer questions in a confused state.
What he did here was:
Deflect and blame me
Guilt me
Storm off and leave
Resulting in me definitely not getting 30 minutes more of needed sleep because he left the house so I am the only parent.
Am I way off base here?
I am journaling my initial gut reaction as I am trusting it more.
Thank you all.
He has a terrible boundary habit of constantly waking me up when he's awake. Like in the mornings, he leaves an hour or two before my alarm goes off. He does not make an effort to get ready quietly while the rest of us sleep and he will even start conversations with me as I'm asleep so I wake up having to answer questions in a confused state.
What he did here was:
Deflect and blame me
Guilt me
Storm off and leave
Resulting in me definitely not getting 30 minutes more of needed sleep because he left the house so I am the only parent.
Am I way off base here?
I am journaling my initial gut reaction as I am trusting it more.
Thank you all.
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