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Old 05-25-2017, 12:40 AM   #41 (permalink)

Join Date: May 2012
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Originally Posted by rosesarered34 View Post
Thanks everyone for the feedback but I have no plans to leave my husband. Many here seem to be focusing on why he has never had a jail sentence? We have lived in 3 different states and one of his DWI does not come up another was reduced to "wreckless driving". So technically this will be his 4th and he did receive a home electronic monitoring sentence before. Lexi, yes I understand a trial will cost more. I worked as a paralegal for many years. I feel it is worth the money as the State has the burden of proof. He did not take any tests or blow. Granted, he was driving without a license so he will be convicted of that. I have read many articles that show jail sentences rarely help the addicted. Yes, my husband has been in rehab many times and has been unsuccessful. I am happy to report that he is currently slowing down his drinking. I have the breathaylzer device on my van now and realize I should of done it years ago. Although it makes you blow randomly as you drive and I need to get use to it. There is not many Alanon meetings around me but I think I will give it a try. My daughter is graduating high school in a few weeks and is interested in a community college. My other kids are doing great in soccer and baseball. I keep them busy and they seem to be unaffected my by husband.
Your daughter seems to be highly influenced by her dad thinking that drinking and driving is perfectly acceptable behavior. She sounds like she's going down a very dangerous path. Also I'm sure your other children are also highly affected, even if you may think they aren't.
Alcoholic households brings hell to everyone. You for sure have a lot on your plate to get sorted out.
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Old 05-25-2017, 07:12 AM   #42 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Ariesagain View Post
I served on a jury for a DUI twenty years ago. We found him guilty and afterwards the judge came in to thank us because this was his fifth DUI conviction (a fact they couldn't mention in the trial) and in her words, "now I can send him to jail quick before he kills someone."

You know that if he does hurt or kill someone, you could both be ruined financially by a lawsuit, right? Same with your daughter, because she's still a minor.

Good for you for getting that breathalyzer installed and congratulations on your new career...that will give you options.

Wishing you strength and clarity.
I DID TOO. I got jury duty right after college and it was a DUI case with a local restaurant owner. One of his lawyer's main points in his defense was that a conviction would mean he lost his liquor license and probably as a result his business.

Insert [construction worker who contributes to safe buildings/etc] for [restaurant owner] and you have the same issue. Someone who is responsible for the safety of others- one, sober work to build and the other, the responsibility of a license to serve the public food and drink (who themselves- neither one- can do their jobs responsibly).

All of us, alcoholic or family members, spent time in some amount of denial about the problem. Getting "help" in prison is possible- he could have mandatory AA meetings for example - but killing himself or someone else driving drunk is Vegas odds on the house.

I will likely bow out of this thread in the interest of remaining kind and constructive- because your comments about y'all's approach being how-to-get-out-of-things is infuriating, honestly, and in denial of reality and what is CONSCIONABLE for all. And, I can assure you as the child of an alcoholic, none of your children remain unaffected.

"Sometimes, I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." - Alice in Wonderland
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