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Old 05-17-2017, 05:23 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Seren View Post
Hello Rotzy! Great picture in your gear...were you able to get out much this past fall and this spring to hunt?
I shot a very nice buck in 2015. I had him mounted! He was the first thing I removed from the him we shared! I didn't get to hunt as much as I wanted to last year because I was hired at the Department of Corrections in August of 2016. Due to my training, which lasts a year, I was not allowed to take off work. I'm nearly complete and will have a year in in August.

This year's hunting will be much of the same. I will have time but, that time is needed for a surgery I desperately need. My moving out has placed that surgery on hold. I have told AH that I need this surgery and him to show some consideration and he could never look past himself. Alcoholism is such a selfish act and I just can't count on him. That hurts so much because I was there for him and I was left high and dry. I need my foot fixed. I have a bunion and I'm in pain every single day. It's like walking on a broken foot and I'm on my feet all day long! The recovery is a 3 month recovery for me because my Dr says that I need to be able to run due to my job. This foot affects every aspect of my life and my hobbies. I can not logically get it done, pay my bills, recover and come out better if I have no time. So, I keep putting my bad foot in front of the other.
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Old 05-17-2017, 05:54 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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This is what my foot looks like. The day I left, on April 25th, I had received an injection that numbs it for a very short time. That was the day he called me a POS for taking our granddaughter home early because I didn't feel good. It hurt. I was done chasing her. He told me I robbed him of 2 hours because I saw he was having fun with her and she was laughing.

I needed surgery 2 years ago but I couldn't because I had put his needs and wants in front of mine. He'd of never let me rest and I know this because he had me up on my feet being his bitch 2 days after I had my gall bladder out. I told him I would not get my foot done in fear that he'd have me on my feet! Here I am, in pain every single day and on my own. He's trying to use my medical condition to get me home because he knows I will need someone to help me and I told him, I will take care of myself when I get it done. I have no one to count on but myself. That's pretty freakin scary but I've never intentionally hurt myself and going it alone will be a lot better than putting my life at risk with someone who can't look past his own nose.

I'm sorry the pic is big. I don't know how to resize it in the attachments.
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Old 05-17-2017, 06:06 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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That even LOOKS painful.

I have a nerve problem with one of my feet (Morton's neuroma--self-diagnosed), and from what I hear, even surgery is unlikely to be effective. I'm putting up with it for now, but at some point I may have to consider doing something. I hope you're able to get some relief. I fortunately (or unfortunately--I should be getting more exercise) don't have to spend a lot of time on my feet. But if you do, it seems well worth getting it taken care of.
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Old 05-17-2017, 06:31 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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I walk a lot at work. I'm on my feet all day long. I'm a Corrections Officer and my first 2 hours of work can only be described as controlled chaos! Add in rounds up and down steps every 20 minutes, 30 minutes or hour depending upon which block I am on. If I'm on an outside post, I'm standing on concrete all day long, walking miles around the yards making sure no one kills somebody, working the chow hall. It's not an easy job! I have some time that I can not anticipate until I turn over. Then every week, I get an hour of sick time. Any over time I work gets put onto Comp time. I just don't have enough to go out for the 3 month recovery. I have to be able to run. If I had an office job, it would be 6 weeks. What I have thought about is going out for 6 and being able to walk on it and going light duty. I still don't have the time to cover the 6 weeks though. If AH would have don what he always promised, I could get it done but I'm always the one who has taken the back seat. I just have to deal with it.
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Old 05-17-2017, 07:06 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by BoxinRotz View Post
Everything I did when I stayed in the home with AH never worked. The threats, bargains, deals, coping... It was never enough until I left. Even the last chance in March when I had an apartment and ready to move wasn't enough. But this last time on April 25th, when he called me a POS and told me to f off and I did, he got sober. Took him a week to get there but I'm still gone and he's still sober.

I'm giving it a year away. If he can not stay sober, we'll be divorcing and it'll be over and he knows it. He's got to hit his one year walk alone before we can think about us. It's the only thing I have never truly embraced. He wants trust where there has never really been any. The ball is in his court and I'm watching.
I am a bit jealous of you. I am in a similar boat. After being together for 15 years... now that I move out is when AH is ready to make changes. I wish I would have done this sooner because I feel like I have already reached my breaking point. I feel unwilling to wait a year to see how he does. I wish I still had some fight in me, but it just feels dead and lifeless. I have no hope of it working out. I am meeting with lawyers this week and learning about my options. Just stinks that right now, when he is showing the most effort towards change, is the time I will probably walk away. Just feels like too late. I've been to hell and back and I'm over it. 😢😢
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Old 05-17-2017, 07:27 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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It's really good to hear from you, and I am so happy to hear that you are taking good care of YOU!!!
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Old 05-18-2017, 04:54 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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These next 3 months are going to be rough. I am picking up a rocking swivel chair with an ottoman today for $40. I told the woman I appreciate it so much because I'm starting over. She sent me a message yesterday telling me that if I need anything else from her junk pile, she would give it to me since I have nothing. I'll be leaving here in an hour to meet her.

I believe God puts people in our lives for a reason and I'm grateful for her generous offer.
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Old 05-18-2017, 04:55 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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I get to spend my day with my 4 year old granddaughter too.
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Old 05-18-2017, 08:31 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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THe one with the best cheeks in the whole world?! Thats awesome!!
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Old 05-18-2017, 08:36 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Box, I don't know if you have FreeCycle in your area, but maybe give it a look. I signed up last fall and one of the things I got was a queen-size memory foam mattress FOR FREE. I also asked for junk garden hose to use to slow water erosion in my gravel driveway, and in addition to some junk hose, I got a whole bunch of really, really nice garden hose! Can't believe what some folks are giving away, but I guess it's stuff they don't have a use for.

It's an online forum and the deal is that you can post to offer anything but CANNOT ask for money, barter, etc. Has to be FREE, hence the snappy name. You can also post and ask for things you need. In my neck of the woods, I have seen everything from utter junk (or so it seems to me) to things that the owner could certainly have sold for a fair chunk of change but chose instead to offer free. I've both given and received, and in my experience, it's a great way to both get stuff you need for free and keep useful things out of the landfill...
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Old 05-18-2017, 02:34 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Kicking my X alcoholic out was great for my health. I finally had the money to get my teeth fixed. When I was married we never had the money for me or the kids to go to the dentist because it was more important that he spend all the money on alcohol and drugs...

It's nearly 5 years free of him now. I am NEVER short of money now! I can go to the Dr or dentist whenever I need to. I even have SAVINGS!
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Old 05-18-2017, 06:01 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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We went out to eat with the baby for her birthday. On the way home, he was talking about his money n how he could put a roof on. I said, we have a lawyer to pay n a ring payment. He got me a new wedding band and I have to pay for it. I know. He's so sweet! Then he says, I'm not paying those bills because they are yours and you are not living with me. We are not husband n wife so you figure it out! That really hurt me. After all I did to stand beside him at his absolute worst and he's leaving me with debt and I have to pay it because I need my truck refinanced. If I don't make the payments, my credit union may snub me for a 40k loan. It's going to come down to paying bills and eating. I'll get to eat my free meal at work though.

He sent me a text and told me I'm never going to make it without him. That I need to come home because I will NEVER heal myself away n I can only heal with him close to me. Or me close to him.

You know what?! Someone is so full of himself! You know me, I could really tell you all what I think but I don't want banned.
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Old 05-18-2017, 06:10 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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I'm glad you're back to posting, Boxy. You seem to have a different attitude this time. You see him so clearly now.
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Old 05-18-2017, 06:15 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Hevyn View Post
I'm glad you're back to posting, Boxy. You seem to have a different attitude this time. You see him so clearly now.
Yes and it's scary because I have a funny feeling that were not going to make it and I don't care. He isn't working a program and says he wants a re-do to live out the rest of our lives because we're meant to be together.

I have huge reservations about that.
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Old 05-18-2017, 06:25 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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Hm. Can you sell the ring, Box?
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Old 05-18-2017, 06:26 PM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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What is it you're waiting for, at this point? I mean, I know you said you were giving it a year, but is there a reason for that? Would it maybe be in your economic interest to get this resolved legally, sooner rather than later?
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Old 05-18-2017, 07:12 PM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by LexieCat View Post
What is it you're waiting for, at this point? I mean, I know you said you were giving it a year, but is there a reason for that? Would it maybe be in your economic interest to get this resolved legally, sooner rather than later?
I'm just standing here. Pa law says that couples divorcing have to wait 90 days apart before a divorce is granted so I don't see a hurry in any way shape or form. I'm not looking to remarry so there's no hurry there either. Everything is already split insurance wise. There is no race. I'd like to just observe him over the next year to see how long it'll take him to get down the rabbit hole. He won't stay out of it. Time has shown me this.
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Old 05-18-2017, 07:14 PM
  # 38 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SparkleKitty View Post
Hm. Can you sell the ring, Box?
I've had no takers as of yet. It's a 2k ring n I'm just looking for the pay off of $980.
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Old 05-18-2017, 07:16 PM
  # 39 (permalink)  
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I just love how he puts all this on me like it's my fault because I left.
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Old 05-18-2017, 07:45 PM
  # 40 (permalink)  
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I'm sorry it's come to this.

I'm glad you came back tho.
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