Ariesagain

Call 911.

Ituvia

There is no 911 here. He sounds like he is crying

mylifeismine

I wouldn't be there when he got there. Call the police & tell them.

LexieCat

I know you don't live in the US, but I'd suggest calling the police and letting them know he's coming over and that you've told him not to. They can make him leave, and arrest him if he refuses.

Ariesagain

Where are you? There has to be some kind of law enforcement???

"No one can stop him" is a threat. Is there somewhere you can go, now?

Drunk tears are the easiest thing in the world. Do NOT interpret this as genuine emotion.

If you can't get help, get out.

Ituvia

He says he wants to meet for "old times sake" and I told him whatever it is, he can tell me on the phone. He says he wants to see my face. Fcuk fcuk!

Ituvia

I have called my friend and told him ex wants to come. I don't know why he wants to come at 1 AM. Obviously drunk and something he is going to regret tomorrow but I don't want to waste all my weeks of therapy by this visit.

Ariesagain

He may just be maudlin drunk..but he may be looking for sex and sexual violence and alcoholism aren't strangers.

Protect yourself at all costs, physically and emotionally. Even the best case scenario is that you let him in, he passes out, and then you're stuck with him again.

As you said, you haven't come this far just to start over again just because he's wasted.

LexieCat

I wouldn't answer the door. You've told him not to come. If he stands outside and bangs on your door, call the police and tell them he is disturbing your peace. Maybe the neighbors will call, but I'd suggest calling, yourself.

atalose

He's going to regret this tomorrow? How about you, how much are you going to regret it? While he probably won't even remember most of it, you will reel from it for weeks if not months.

And this isn't a "visit" it's a drunk trying to control something - you and demanding without respect like always..........no it's not a visit please re-write your script in your head to reflect reality.

AnvilheadII

hang up. and don't answer again when he calls back. THAT is what you control.

if he shows up, DO NOT open the door. call the local police.

he's drunk, what else do you need to know?

firebolt

You have control here.

You might not like the answers of - don't answer his calls, and call the police, but they are very good, and very valid answers. You can stop this at any time. Peace and strength to you.

hopeful4

Lock the door and do not answer. You know that this is a bad idea.

Bekindalways

Hugs to you Ituvia . . . . I hope you went somewhere else or at least didn't answer the door.

hopeful4

Just wanting to check in, see you you are doing friend?

Ituvia

I am fine, guys. He came home last night drunk and wants to get back together. Says he was like a raging bull and was furious. He said life without me sucks and whatnot and the usual BS. I told him I don't want to get back and the very fact that he came home drunk says a lot. He said he is going to rehab and when he comes out, he will come for me. I said these are words and words are free, actions speak otherwise. He wanted to crash at my place because his shiithole is not a home without me in it. I was like whatever dude please leave I am sleepy and it's 2 AM. He expected a hug, apparently. The audacity to walk out on me and my dogs and then coming back and hugging them and crying :/ He didn't ask one thing about my eviction or how I managed. Selfish nature of an addict isn't going to change, I suppose. He held my hand and I just couldn't stand the smell of booze. All quack, no c*ck

LexieCat

Ew. Well, it sounds like it was possibly effective as aversion therapy.

I'd call the cops if he pulls this again. In fact, did you ever look into whether you could obtain a protective order? I think you have reasonable grounds to fear for your safety.

Ituvia

I just don't know why I was not able to restrict him from coming,Lexicat and the dogs went wild. My youngest kept crying and licking his face. All three of them huddled in one corner and kissed and cried and sh*t. I should've been stronger but I just couldn't say no when he wanted to meet them.

LexieCat

Remember, as much as you love them, they are DOGS. If you dangle a steak in front of them, they will go nuts, too. But they don't sit around MISSING the steak if you put it away. The dogs will not suffer from his absence.

Just remember how icky that alcohol reek and those crocodile tears were. You do NOT need to get back into that drama--it is HORRIBLE for you, and you were just beginning to heal.

Ituvia

I think part of me wanted to see him too. Surprisingly, I am not in as much pain. I felt sad though it came to this. Him saying all those things and me just sitting there without saying anything. Too little too late, perhaps? When I asked him why he is sorry, he didn't have anything to say. Just said he was like a raging bull, furious and destroyed to "straighten me out". I was like wtf