Besties no more update #5
 

So, this first part is a continuation immediately following my last update. After he had become so rude, I wrote him a letter and mailed it the next day. In the letter I stated my frustrations and how a relationship shouldn't feel like this. It was mailed the first week of April.

The ex doesn't live far from me at all. But for some reason, he waited until the 3rd week of April to text me at 5am telling me to stop writing him and that he didn't read my letter. I told him I had mailed it weeks ago and it wasn't my fault he didn't check his mail on a regular basis. I also brought up the fact that he was texting ME when he had told me to leave him alone or whatever.

It's been over a month (maybe 1.5 months?) since contact or physically seeing each other. The beginning was so doiffixult. Every day was like a bad day. This is still the longest we've gone without contact. My stupid self texted him telling him I'd take him to work if he needed, but I've gotten no response. I'm disappointed at myself doing doing that. But a part of me is actually glad that I haven't gotten any response so that I may keep healing.

I think he may actually be done with me this time. When I say that to people, I often get the response that he'll be back. But I feel like he won't. I don't know how to explain it, it's like an empty feeling, but not a bad empty feeling. Like a weight has been lifted of uncertainty

I have added codependency books to my reading list which I hope to be getting within the next week.

I want to thank you all again for your advice and stories. I'm sorry if any of you feel like you're beating a dead horse, but I guess that's how I learn lol. I've reached out to domestic violence places in my city in regards to also moving out of my current living situation. Even though there's no physical violence, there's other forms that I am met with daily. Unfortunately they don't provide financial help for domestic violence occurring within family.

Lovebug....You might try contacting a social worker who works for whatever county you live in. You can google county govt. and get the names and contact numbers of the social workers....
They will have various programs of assistance that you might qualify for....like food stamps, housing allowances, utility assistance, childcare assistance, transportation vouchers, counseling services, food pantry, etc.
DV is not a government agency....