aliciagr

I wanted to give a brief update. Medically I still dont have answers but will only say things are high risk with the baby, but I have good doctors.

I am feeling incredibly better being back home to a place where I know, and where I feel comfortable. This feels like home and when we moved it never did feel like a warm place to me. Maybe because of everything that happened.

Right now Im staying at my parents, and cant say enough about how they have both supported me.

My husband was invited to stay at my brothers house, and we talked it over and decided it might be best to take pressure off both of us. Its been going ok for him there. No issues from anyone. I have spent time with him and he has also been to my parents house to visit. He is doing a lot better. As far as I can tell, he didnt relapse. I dont have our relationship all figured out right now, but I know my feelings are still there and Im going to give it time. He is accepting all the responsibility, and not pushing me to promise him anything. He asked if I would give him time and if we could work on things. I told him I needed to set the pace and he agreed.

I know I need to let him work on getting reestablished here. He wants his old job back but its a little complicated. Right now I will just say he is working there full time but in more of a consultant role with no long term commitment from them right now. But he is happy, and when I see him appears a lot more focused and looking to the future, setting goals for himself once again.

My dad and brother have spent the most time with him and both are a good influence. I know my dad especially deserves a lot of credit for being a support system to him because of everything and how it affected me.

I feel like everyone here cares about me, but I know a lot of you think I would be better off without him. I just dont know yet. Trying to stay relaxed, calm, take things slow, take care of myself and the baby as best I can. I appreciate all your compassion and support, and for letting me work on things here by posting.

PuzzledHeart

I hope you and your family are doing well alicia. I'm so happy you are still posting. You're going through so much. I'm sending you as much strength and grace as I can.

firebolt

Aww - keep doing what you're doing, and I am so happy you are in a comfortable, safe place. That's ALL that matters right now. (((HUGS))) and thanks for the update - we DO care!!

PuzzledHeart

Oops. Just saw your update. I'm glad you're calling the shots on this.

I've heard through the grapevine that it takes two to five years to heal from infidelity, presuming that the wayward spouse is honest from the outset and doesn't "trickle truth" in dribs and drabs. It is definitely not for the faint of heart.

Good doctors mean everything.

I know you love your baby very much.

aliciagr

Thank you both, I appreciate it.

I havent been reading much I must admit, but today I was thinking about all of you. Im afraid if I tried to post and get my thoughts out it would only confuse everyone here. A lot going on in this brain of mine right now.

aliciagr

I dont know if its good or bad, but I can somewhat understand why he didnt tell me. I dont know how I would have reacted then vs now. We spent so much time in therapy and trying to deal with his addictions and what happened during that time between us. There is this past and present clash because it was a big thing to leave out when he went through all of his previous confessions and repentance phase.

Ariesagain

I've been thinking about you and hoping you and the baby were okay. Thanks fir checking in.

Sending you a hug.

LexieCat

Glad you're with your folks.

Hugs, hope things are OK with the pregnancy.

hopeful4

Stay well friend!

PuzzledHeart

That's the problem with trickle truth - you feel like that you're getting to a good place, and then suddenly something comes out and the good work that you did gets all erased and you're back to square one.

With my own sister, I will be the first to admit that it wasn't her actual drug use that broke down our relationship in the end. It was the compulsive lying and delusional thinking that just wore me down. It was her instinct to choose the easiest way to alleviate her anxiety, whether it would be through lying, spending money she didn't have, etc., regardless of the consequences to herself, her friends, and her family that angered me.

I totally know why she acts this way. There are textbooks on why she acts this way. But in the end, all my knowledge is useless - it's not going to change her. She can only do that herself - and at this point it's going take years of her really getting herself together before I can ever trust her again.