Alcoholic, gambling husband
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1
Alcoholic, gambling husband
Hi. I'm really at a loss of what to do. I kicked my husband out for the 3rd time last night. He blew 2 grand online while I was away for the weekend. He has taken out 4 payday loans to pay for it. This has been going on for over 10 years. He gets really drunk and then keeps gambling till there's nothing left. We have paid for private therapy. His mother thinks shes a failure.
Hes been a functioning alcoholic for years. When I say functioning I mean it never interferes with work. He just gets drunk every night and can't go a day without drinking. We have a young child and another in the way. I grew up with a non functioning alcoholic mother so will not put my kids through this.
I love him dearly and If I thought he ment it this time I would support him. But it feels I've heard it so many times before. Maybe It's my fault for giving him chance after chance? I don't know what to do anymore.
Sorry for long post 😢
Hes been a functioning alcoholic for years. When I say functioning I mean it never interferes with work. He just gets drunk every night and can't go a day without drinking. We have a young child and another in the way. I grew up with a non functioning alcoholic mother so will not put my kids through this.
I love him dearly and If I thought he ment it this time I would support him. But it feels I've heard it so many times before. Maybe It's my fault for giving him chance after chance? I don't know what to do anymore.
Sorry for long post 😢
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,626
Hi Sadgirl, welcome. I will offer no advice but ask you- what does your heart tell you? You have pout your life in a holding pattern- not ever going forward. There are a lot of supports at SR. Stay safe. Al-Anon can offer you f2f on the ground support. My empathy and support to you. Keep posting, PJ.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
so sorry for what brings you here. i can state categorically that your husband's addictions are NOT YOUR FAULT. he has failed as a partner and father to address these issues and put his family in financial harm.
good for you for giving him the boot. it has to stop, you have a lot on your plate, but you will get thru this!
good for you for giving him the boot. it has to stop, you have a lot on your plate, but you will get thru this!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Agree that this is not your fault. Nor his mother's, for that matter.
This situation was/is intolerable, and you did the right thing.
I'd suggest seeing a lawyer ASAP to protect your finances. It may be that you don't have to file for divorce immediately if you aren't ready, but you need to prevent him from accessing your money in the meantime. Do you work, yourself?
Hugs, I can only imagine how overwhelming it must feel to be dealing with all of this while you're pregnant, but taking steps to protect your financial future is essential.
This situation was/is intolerable, and you did the right thing.
I'd suggest seeing a lawyer ASAP to protect your finances. It may be that you don't have to file for divorce immediately if you aren't ready, but you need to prevent him from accessing your money in the meantime. Do you work, yourself?
Hugs, I can only imagine how overwhelming it must feel to be dealing with all of this while you're pregnant, but taking steps to protect your financial future is essential.
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