loveandmagic

So I went to this psychedelic rock show to have some fun, and get my mind off of my breakup/ broken heart. This wildly gorgeous guy was flirting with me, and I tried avoiding him for a while bc I hate anything with a penis that has a drink in its hand, and the dude actually ended up being really nice and cool. I'm not looking for anything, but it was nice to have someone to just talk to. He hung out with me during the whole show with his friends, conversation was great, and I actually laughed a couple times. He was kinda tipsy, but I'm trying not to be judgmental of everyone who drinks. I had to get going, and he was mid conversation with someone as I was leaving so I slipped my business card in his back pocket... next thing I know he freaked out and accused me of trying to steal his wallet. He's YELLING at me in front of EVERYONE that I'm a crazy b*tch trying to steal his wallet, and telling everyone as a warning, and wouldn't shut up. So I just ran out, while security was CHASING me. MY FREAKING LUCK! I never want to talk to another man again!

honeypig

Well, maybe don't talk to a DRUNKEN man...

In one of your other threads, I mentioned taking enough time for yourself to learn to make truly different choices in your life, or you'd likely end up in a similar situation to the one you just left. I think this story might be an illustration of what could happen if you DON'T take that time and learn those lessons--you left an alcoholic relationship 3 months ago, and here you are, slipping your business card into the back pocket of a "tipsy" man.

No, you certainly don't need to judge everyone who drinks, but I'd say it would be wise to not start something up w/someone who is drunk the very first time you meet him. Seems the odds wouldn't be in your favor...

loveandmagic

You are ABSOLUTELY right. And that's exactly the lesson I took from it. It's strange, bc prior to my ex, I've never been with an addict of any sort, and I have zero addicts in my family. I was probably just attracted to the disgusting similarity of gorgeous, funny, intelligent, sensitive and a belligerent, paranoid, crazy mess.

dandylion

loveandmagic....we live and learn........
I understand...he was gorgeous and you are lonely.... basic biology...lol...
Because you are a smart girl, you will avoid doing that again.....

Lilro

You should have taken the wallet. Lol

dandylion

^^^^^^lol!^^^^^^^

Maudcat

I hope you got your business card back.

Bekindalways

I'm laughing Loveandmagic.

In the first years after I left my qualifier, the universe kept throwing men at me who made loneliness and celibacy seem pretty fun. I still laugh about these guys.

hopeful4

Oh goodness! Glad you made it out!!!

firebolt

This is exactly what I went through in the last year! Every time I think I am good, and ready to make room for someone in my life - I go on a mortifying date or 2.

In the last year, I have been on dates with:

Norman Bates - (yes, lived with his mom, super creepy - that was interesting)
Mr. "I LOVE TO FISH" (but he really only ever wanted to go have drinks, go out to eat, or watch a movie)
Cute Cowboy (with 2 surprise 'way in the past' DUI's and more currently, can't keep a job)
Super Dad - he was alright, but we had nothing in common - my life is outdoors, his life is on the school board and hangin with his 5 kids.
and finally

Mr Exact Replica of every man i've ever fallen in love with. I never went on a date with this guy....because I can FINALLY see. He's a friend of a friend, and he is EXACTLY what I am attracted to. He is over the top charming, soooo funny, pretty cute, and really digs me.....and he is someone I stay far away from because of it. I can see very clearly that if I let it, we'd be sooo in love in 1 months time because I'd slap the blinders on myself and ignore every single red flag that I have seen while hanging out with him at gatherings on 2 separate occasions. And YAY- the attraction is fading, because that is NOT what I want anymore!

Your story is hilarious, and horrifying! I hope you take some time for yourself - nurse your wounds, and rediscover the things you love outside of a relationship. If we can get ourselves to a healthier place - we can never go back to how we were - we love ourselves far too much to do that. <3

Bekindalways

^^^^ Too funny fireboat!

I would think the gentlemen of this forum have equivalent stories. I remember one of our members who decided to start dating. Picked up the lady and she got in his car with a big gulp cup of vodka. As I remember, he invited her to get out of his car pretty quickly.

Yep . . . . the universe does put out good reminders that there are worse situations then being single!

honeypig

Yeah, I remember a member who was just going to meet someone at the park, just a low-key get-together, not even a formal "date", and he showed up w/a giant cup of beer. As she wondered how to politely excuse herself, he said "be back in a minute" and headed off to the woods to pee. She took the opportunity to get the hell out of Dodge....

Once we've seen, we can't UN-see nearly so easily.

Wisconsin

Honeypig, I will never, EVER forget that meetup in the park for as long as I live. The whole thing was so unbelievably surreal!

There are so many dating horror stories around here, but whenever I read them I always take encouragement from them because they show how much we have grown. We can actually SEE these things for what they are now!

Nata1980

Haha

I actually went out on a coffee date and had a great time. We spent about 3 hours talking and closed down the coffee shop. I did not have crazy attraction - but he made me laugh and chatting was just so easy. Like I have known him for years. Not sure if it will amount to anything - but I would totally love to be friends if nothing else (similar art interests)

So far my one and only dating experience since 2001 is positive

Ladybird579

LOlling at the anecdotes. I've had one or two horror dates myself before I met my boyfriend who has been a steep learning curve. Prior to him arriving on the scene I had a couple of dates with a farmer who I get on with really well but he wasn 't floating my boat cos I was still addicted to drama. Enter boyfriend all fresh from Europe, never been married, ( I now know why cos it's not his thing....he's 43 so it's never likely to be), bit of a bad boy air, very hedonistic and I was like a lamb to the slaughter. He's a great person, makes me laugh, is very talented in his field and entertaining but the drama surrounding him has been addictive.... yet again. It's almost like being with an alcoholic without the alcohol. I am telling this tale cos I used to think avoid the pubs and drinkers and I will be home free but no it's not that simple.

I got fed up of his drama and started to see that this wasn't what I wanted. I don't want to be dragged all over the world like a piece of excess luggage to the next exciting thing. I dont want to be permanently broke cos of travelling all the time. He left yet again for another round of adventures in Europe and I am going to see him soon to end it. I don't want a drama queen bad boy anymore. Sometime in the last 2 years I've changed and I didn't even realise until this last time when he left and I realised I was sooooooooooooo relieved.

PuzzledHeart

I once went out with a guy who offered dinner at his house. It was a frozen dinner.

But wait, there was dessert! And that was a box of Girl Scout cookies.

Needless to say, no more dates.

DesertEyes

Oh yes, us guys are not immune. I still have trouble with "red flags". To me they look more like a shade of pink. But I am making progress thanks to some good friends and a sponsor that have helped me thru some rough stretches.

At one point I hit on four ladies in a row who all turned out to be married, even though I specifically said right at the start that I am serial monogamous and expect the same in return. I don't go out on dates with married women, no exceptions.

One said she wasn't "really", married, just kinda. The next said she had an open marriage, she just hadn't discussed that yet with her husband. The next was only married on weekends, when her husband came in from the next state where he worked construction. And the fourth didn't have "that kind " of marriage.

The problem was that it took me several red flags to put all the clues together, and by then I was a couple months into going out with these ladies. My two lady friends got a little tired of my woes and actually chaperoned me a few times just to show me how it's done. <heavy sigh>

Mike

LexieCat

My last "date" was with a guy I'd met online, who lived not too far from me, but he had horses, and he invited me to go riding. I LOVE riding, and was really looking forward to a fun first date.

I get to his house, and we sat out on the porch, drinking iced tea, looking at the pasture where the horses were. It got later and later, with nothing mentioned about riding, saddling up, nada. I went into his house to use the bathroom, and the entire house was decorated like a little boy's bedroom with cowboy motifs everywhere (including horseshoes on the shower curtain). This guy was in his late 40s, if I remember right.

And then, the pièce de résistance, a life-sized cardboard cutout of John Wayne on the stairway landing.

I went back out and said my goodbyes. I get home and there's an email from him saying how nice it was to meet me, but that he didn't feel there was any "chemistry."

Now, I couldn't have agreed with him more--but apparently he couldn't bring himself to waste good horseflesh on a lost cause in the interest of being polite and going for the promised ride.

Like I said, my last date. It was approximately 12 years ago.

Nata1980

DesertEyes - this is my worst fear - to run across married lying liars. Actually happened to me before I have met XAH - the guy turned out to be married with kids - and I cut it off with him but felt like a piece of garbage for about a year afterwards.

I love all the stories - too funny. I have to say that OP takes the prize with stolen wallet allegations story. Lexie - your story made me feel sad for both you for being denied a ride and a cowboy guy who is obviously clueless.

My coffee guy is MIA for 3 days already. Maybe he was not that impressed

Bekindalways

Oh dear Mike . . . . that is so bad it is almost funny.

I guess in the grand scheme of human nature I land closer to the prudish side and don't have any plans to change where I fall on that spectrum.