HeartbrokenGuy

Hi all,

Just curious if any of you volunteer and if that has been helpful in your own personal recovery.

Also, for those that volunteer, do you seek organizations that help recovering alcoholics or do you stay as far away from that as possible?

I have been thinking of this a great deal today as I do want to honor my fiancé's memory.

Thanks for reading. And if this is an inappropriate type of topic for this forum please just let me know.

Thanks

Bekindalways

This is a great topic HBG.

I do volunteer but didn't when I left my qualifier. I volunteer at our local thrift store that gives money to charity. I love it. It really get me out doing something. I'm currently unemployed so it helps.

LexieCat

I've volunteered in the past, but not currently. My job and personal stuff take up most of my time (plus the time I spend on here--some of which should be devoted to something like exercise, lol).

I'd suggest, though, that you volunteer for a cause YOU are passionate about, not necessarily something alcohol/addiction-related, or some cause that was important to her. I think any kind of volunteer work can be done "in honor" of someone. Volunteering is a great way of getting out of your own head and connecting with other people, which is very healthy and healing.

VigilanceNow

This is a great topic!! Volunteering is a big part of my life and has been tremendous in my recovery. I'm sure there are organizations dedicated to helping alcoholic awareness, and there are certainly a number of suicide prevention places like call centers and outreach.

I know your fiance didn't commit suicide in a conventional way, but I've come to realize that drinking that much is a kind of suicidal behavior.

I wish you all the best in your grieving process!!!

LexieCat

One other thought--I think it's fine to work in the field of helping those who suffer from alcohol or drug addictions. I just think being too close to it right now might not be the best thing. Maybe it's something you can keep in mind for the future if it still feels important to do after you've moved further along in your own recovery.

HeartbrokenGuy

Thank you all for your insights.

I just want to clarify that volunteering to help those suffering with addiction would be my passion. Not hers. But I also don't want it to be a displacement of my Codie behaviors.

"I couldn't save her, so let's save someone else". Do you know what I mean?

LexieCat

Yup, and that's why I'm saying I'd hold off on that for right now. I think you're right on the money.

Surely there are other things in your life you've been passionate about--other causes. Even political causes can be great. You can work to change laws that need to be changed. Or you could volunteer for a literacy program. Programs for the arts need volunteers. The Red Cross and other programs always need help.

I'm not suggesting you stay away from helping alcoholics/addicts forever--I'd just put a little space between that and this tragedy first.

Dee74

I'm from the other side of the boards but volunteering as been a big part of my recovery. I just helped out where I could in my local community, helping others and giving something back.

Nowadays SR is my major volunteer work

D

Refiner

I volunteer my time and $ to animal rescues and animal wellness charities. Most people can help themselves if they wanted to but animals are truly helpless.

VigilanceNow

I agree that probably a good idea to hold off on helping others with addiction - the hurt is so fresh in your mind, and alcoholics in particular can be obstinate and difficult in early recovery stages. Volunteering with animals sounds like an awesome idea!! That might be a safer bet until you've recovered more from your tremendous loss

HeartbrokenGuy

Thank you all for the love, guidance, and support during this difficult time.

I appreciate the insight and suggestions. I think I will focus my energy in volunteering to help some kids and animals.

Got lots of free time on my hands now.

FeelingGreat

I volunteered for the Salvation Army, but in the head office admin section. I'm pretty sure I made a big difference to the way the volunteer registration was organised, and it was a bit frustrating that I couldn't do more because I had lots of ideas. Enjoyed it a lot and came away with a good opinion of the organisation, even though I'm not at all religious.

Ladybird579

While still married to exah I was a volunteer fosterer for animals. I did that for 6 years. I had to give it up as I moved to a small flat when me and exah split up so I volunteered from the end of my marriage with exah in an organisation that helps addicts and alcoholics. I also did work on the streets as a first aider and general help to homeless and alcoholics and I did that for 2 years. Then I moved on to volunteering in a coffee shop attached to this organisation but aimed at different people... mums with young children and older lonely adults. I enjoyed that. I left the coffee shop to travel round Europe but am going back to it soon.

When I came back from Europe I did a couple of stints with a disabled charity helping disabled adults to learn how to cook. We are doing more in the fall and am on the steering committee to organise events for them during the summer.

Volunteering with addicts triggered me a bit if am honest. I was useful cos I have insight but got fed up of listening to daily quacking from them. Also my codie part was attracted to some of them and I had to steel myself not to become personally involved. Having said that we had some huge sucess stories. Some are still in recovery 2 years on and have places to live and jobs. I see them in the street and they hug me lol. I found that very rewarding.

Working in the coffee shop made me a lot of friends. I regulary got brought flowers/plants and cards and while I never expected anything it was nice to be appreciated. Am looking forward to going back there after my next stint in Europe to tie up loose ends. Am going to need this outlet and distraction more than ever as my boyfriend has moved to Europe permanently and ...well... long story short ...am not moving with him so we are splitting up. One of the benefits of learning to detach is I know this won't break me and I positive good things are ahead for me here.

maia1234

I volunteer cooking and serving meals to homeless people. I get back, way more then I give. It is so rewarding.

There are so many organizations looking for volunteers; you have a kind heart my friend. Go out and make a difference! !

Maudcat

Hi, Guy. Great thread.
I volunteer at an environmentally oriented organization. I work in the office one day a week and help with some of their education programs and special events. I really like it, as I feel that they do good work.
I have also been a docent at a mid-atlantic city zoo. That was a lot of fun!
I donate to local animal shelters, but I don't work at any. I think it would just be too hard for me.

dandylion

Maudcat...I had a friend who volunteered at the National Zoo in D.C., and as a perk of the job, she got free animal dung for her garden. She said that elephant dung was the best...She gave a package to fellow gardeners on special occasions, as a gift....lol...

Maudcat

Elephant dung is the best!
Now there's a sentence I would have bet money that I would never say.
Lol.

dandylion

Maaudcat...Congratulations! You have, now, given me my second laugh-out-loud for the day...all before 9:00 a.m.
(the first was about the use of dynamite for fishing)....
You seem to be on a roll, today.....

Maudcat

Thanks, dandy. I am having fun today.
And it's going to be gorgeous out.

hopeful4

I volunteer at church, and usto volunteer and be leadership in Celebrate Recovery. I am actually going to go back to that soon.

I know it certainly makes me feel better to pay it forward in some way.