Dealing with feeling of rejection by an alcoholic
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Anvil's right--you did kick him out this time. And, really, it was the right thing at the time. So your instincts were right, it's just that you then were upset because he didn't respond the way you expected him to when you changed your mind.
It really doesn't matter who said what to whom, though. This was a toxic, unhealthy relationship. It's like having a bad appendix or tooth removed. Painful, but necessary for your own good.
Keep working on getting to that point of acceptance. That's really the goal. You need to get there before you can move forward.
It really doesn't matter who said what to whom, though. This was a toxic, unhealthy relationship. It's like having a bad appendix or tooth removed. Painful, but necessary for your own good.
Keep working on getting to that point of acceptance. That's really the goal. You need to get there before you can move forward.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,670
Logic? Rational thought? Even a balanced emotional response? Love?
Alcoholism?
In the mind (?) of a practising alcoholic- there is no contest.
I was at a meeting yesterday, where a lady said her bro (61) had to travel to a largish country hospital for liver pains- chronic alcoe. He was told why. He went back to his tin shed- where in her words 'there was just a bed- a fridge and flies'. This shed was on a property in mad-max country (for real). He then with intention- drank himself to death. Wanted to go out doing the only thing he really had passion for.
You are better than addiction. Your heart will heal- but you will not forget. You are a good person.
Alcoholism?
In the mind (?) of a practising alcoholic- there is no contest.
I was at a meeting yesterday, where a lady said her bro (61) had to travel to a largish country hospital for liver pains- chronic alcoe. He was told why. He went back to his tin shed- where in her words 'there was just a bed- a fridge and flies'. This shed was on a property in mad-max country (for real). He then with intention- drank himself to death. Wanted to go out doing the only thing he really had passion for.
You are better than addiction. Your heart will heal- but you will not forget. You are a good person.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: nj
Posts: 58
Originally Posted by atalose 
Rejection doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough; it means the other person FAILED to notice what YOU HAD TO OFFER.
As for hoping he makes amends, people don’t make amends for what they won’t admit to be true. He’s a long long way away if ever from any kind of real recovery where an amends might be heard.
I think the thinking with amends is that if they do make the effort to say I am sorry it shows they care about us and the silence shows they don’t…………..again, it’s all about the conversations we have with that person looking back at us in the mirror.
As for hoping he makes amends, people don’t make amends for what they won’t admit to be true. He’s a long long way away if ever from any kind of real recovery where an amends might be heard.
I think the thinking with amends is that if they do make the effort to say I am sorry it shows they care about us and the silence shows they don’t…………..again, it’s all about the conversations we have with that person looking back at us in the mirror.
I just said today why won't he say he's sorry and you answered it,
you have the answers, but the pain still lingers.
I am just so anrgy. Why can't they ******* find a cure for alcoholism already?
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